Little Comments Go a LONG WAY!

So Jared is working on the bookshelf in our room and he yells out, "I need someone strong to help me."  Ally (the only girl out of 5 children) replies, "UGHH, I guess that would be me."  A while back we told her how strong she was, and she has definitely taken it to heart. 
It got me thinking.....A while ago Elder Hales gave a talk about how much influence a parent can have on a child, even in the little comments that we make.  This was true in my case, and in the case of my 5 sisters.

My dad was the PROUD father of 6 girls (Susan (the baby), Erin (on the left), JoDee, Kristine, Patti, and ME!)  Do you see how short I am in that picture, it didn't stay that way for long.  I outgrew everyone of them!  Even Papa Joe!  To make a long story short, I was 6 feet tall as a freshman in high school surrounded by boys that were...well, not 6 feet tall.  My mother always told me to "Stand up Straight and Be Proud, because you are beautiful," and that helped, but one rather poignant moment stands clear in my mind. 
I was in about 6th grade,the growth spurt had already started, and I was listening to my dad present a fireside in Sugar City, ID.  He began to introduce himself and said, "I have 6 children, they are all girls, and every single one of them is beautiful."  As the years pressed on and inches stacked upon inches, I thought about that a lot. 
In the Church foyer one day, Brad Reynolds (who was a good 8 inches shorter at the time) said to me, "Kathryn you are SO TALL!"  My dad overheard it, and that night checked my journal to see if I was okay with what Brad had said (It is the Foster Family belief that journals are fair game to parents, it is not spying, it is the parent's prerogative).  The journal entry stated, "Today Brad told me that I was SO TALL in front of everyone, I feel bad for him, he is SO SHORT." 
Dad's never underestimate the value of your words and your actions when it comes to your daughter's self esteem!  21 years later I can still hear him say it.  It doesn't matter what any body else says, Dad's trump them all. 

Pluck and Plant

So I wrote this and submitted it to the Ensign, but it is pretty near impossible to be published in the Ensign, so I will post it here because it is near and dear to my heart!

As my dad lay in the back room dying, several of us sat in the living room.  The mood was solemn at best. Trying to wrap our minds around what was happening, the oldest son-in-law, began to tell us of a conversation he had had several years ago with my dad.  As he recounted it, my dad said something to this effect, “My dad was a very selfish man.  I’ve had to fight the impulse to be selfish my entire life.”  Apparently, he won the battle, because selfish was one thing my dad was not. 

The Allegory of the Olive Tree has never held many “great awakenings” for my life.  However, it began to come alive as I placed it in the framework of this solitary piece of information just given to me by my brother-in-law. 

In verses 6 and 7 of Jacob 5, the Lord is displeased to find that the “main top” is decaying.  After endless pruning, digging, and nurturing, these older branches that he has diligently tried to mold into something beautiful, have begun to decay.  These branches were also becoming hurtful to the “young and tender” branches starting to grow, but only in the shadow of the top.  So the instruction comes from the Lord of the vineyard:  PLUCK OFF THE DECAYING BRANCHES AND BURN THEM.  In His wisdom, He could see the devastating effect those top branches could have on the young and tender shoots. 

This is where my great awakening occurred.  In most families, there are both good and bad traditions.  Bad traditions typify the decaying branches and weaken our faith.  Let’s imagine for a moment that the “main top” branches were the traditions of our progenitors, people that the Lord had helped and taught and trained, who now had children of their own.  This being the case, perhaps the Lord’s dramatic actions of “Pluck and Burn,” tell us just how much of an impact the Lord thought a parent could have upon the faith of a child.  For the good or the bad.

My awakening continued.  In verse 8, the Lord’s second plan is revealed.  He will take away many of the young and tender branches and plant them somewhere else.  I wondered at this plan.  Could a branch, recently removed from the tree that produced it, have the ability to survive, let alone thrive, somewhere else?  But far before this particular “Jacob 5 Olive Tree” ever lived, the Lord had provided for this as well.  A single branch had everything it needed to start over.  It could grow its own roots and eventually produce its own fruit.  Good Fruit!  The Lord would provide the pruning, digging, and nurturing.  In the end, nobody ever had to know that once upon a time, decaying branches blocked it’s view of the heavenly sky. 

The dad I knew let himself be plucked from the tree and planted somewhere else. Of course he remembered former days, but he fought hard for the Divinity placed within him long before those days.  He sought out the Lord’s nurturing.  And in turn, when the Lord tried to prune and dig about his growing tree, he responded with an open mind and a willing heart.  And in the end, I know that he and the Lord were pleased with the fruit that had been produced. 

A long time ago I had a high-school friend.  His upbringing was traumatic, and he had few places to look for a good example.  At the event of our graduation, he said to my dad, “Not bad for a kid with my background.”  I distinctly remember my dad’s response.  “That way of thinking will only work for so long, you have to create your own life now.”  Speaking from experience, he was really telling my friend that it was time to pluck, plant, and grow fruit - GOOD FRUIT! 

Through the example of my Dad I have learned that when we finally decide to leave behind false traditions that weaken our faith, the Lord will provide means for our faith to blossom. 

I have a new favorite scripture.  I tend to be attracted to one and then dwell on it for several months.  If it sticks and EVERYTHING begins to pertain to that scripture, I start to VINYLIZE:  hence the picture below. 

The phrase comes from 1 Samuel 20:23, when Johnathan and David promise their friendship to one another as they depart in dangerous circumstances. 

To be honest, this whole obsession started with a vinyl project.  My oldest sister JoDee had me make her some vinyl for her wall with this scripture on it.  I did it, all along thinking that it was quite  random to be putting in large letters on a living room wall, but I did it.  Now it hangs on my living room wall as well. 
In 2006, Elder Bednar gave a talk at a World Wide Leadership Training about the Marriage relationship.  There was one part of that talk that has stuck with me ever since. He was talking about a marriage relationship, but I think it can apply to ANY relationship.  He drew a mental picture for us.  Imagine a Triangle.  You stand in the bottom left hand corner of the triangle.  Your spouse stands in the bottom right hand of the triangle.  The triangle is then completed as the Savior stands at the top.  As you and your spouse, travel the line of the triangle and grow closer to the Savior, you quite naturally grow closer to each other.  This picture made such sense to me that I considered "vinylizing" the entire triangle diagram on the living room wall as well, but aesthetically speaking, it was a bit over the top. 

In every problem that I encounter, I find that if I get the Lord involved, the end result is ALWAYS better than "going at it alone."  When I answer a child's question with a scripture (or mostly just watch Jared do that, copy him, and pretend like it was an original idea), pray about it, fast with or for someone......Not only do problems get resolved, but relationships are strengthened in the process.  Every relationship I have ever had is enhanced when it encroaches upon spiritual ground. 

The Big Picture

On more than one occasion, I can remember sitting in the unusually pink Relief Society room of the Ashton Stake Center listening to my Dad teach a Gospel Doctrine class.  Quite vividly, I can recall him saying these words several times, "You have got to remember to always look at the Big Picture." 
As a mother of 5 very small children (I have to keep reminding myself that they are small), who SAYS and DOES the exact same things every single day, the big picture sometimes gets lost in a sea of laundry, reminders, oven timers, and "please do's."  When that happens, my attitude goes from good to, let's just say unpleasant.  And let's just say (pretend if you have to), that yesterday was and UNPLEASANT day. 
It started and ended something like this, "Yes, you have to read your scriptures, Have you SAID your prayers,  Did you say your prayers, PLEASE go and say your Prayers, Did you read the instructions before you started, It is time to set the table, It is STILL time to set the table, Have I taught you any manners at all, Please come read scriptures (5x's a little louder each time), Did you brush your teeth, Believe me when I say that I KNOW you have not brushed your teeth."  I tell Jared that I am the WAL*MART INTERCOM.  Everyone knows that it is on, but nobody can tell you what it said. 
Several weeks ago I had had several of these days in a row, and in the midst of my desperation, I believe that I received a small (huge to me) tender mercy from the Lord.  I had a dream.  In my dream I saw a young man.  At first glance, I thought that it was Travis Rust (one of many good good kids from our ward that my kids idolize), but when I investigated further, it was Sam.  For some reason, I knew that he had just returned from a mission.  He was TALL, HANDSOME, RESPECTABLE, and just GOOD through and through.  In my dream, he began to talk.  He looked at me and said the word, MOM.  I began to cry.
I woke up the next morning, recorded my dream, and said to myself, "if that is the end result...I can do this!" 

 The Lord has said, “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33).

Lesson Learned

This Sunday morning, Sister Noto called Ally to ask her to draw a picture for her primary teacher whose father recently died.  She was excited at the task, but didn't know what would be appropriate to draw.  I told her to go to her room and say a little prayer.  "Heavenly Father will always help you when you want to help someone else," I believe were my exact words. 
A few minutes later she came out of her room.  The prayer had been said, but she still didn't know what to draw. I told her to, "go back to your room, sit quietly, and pay attention to your thoughts."  After a while I realized that she was up to something.  I could her hear humming "I Know that my Redeemer Lives," and knew she was busily at work.  The end product was better than anything that I would have told her to draw. 

It is a heart with a picture of the Bible and Book of Mormon in the middle.  She has included several captions...."You will always have help....you will get your answer...search ponder pray...the power that I get each time I read...you are a eternal family forever" 
The story continues...Today's relief society lesson was on service.  I read it, and in connection with it, I read a few scriptures concerning charity - the pure love of Christ.  I had thought to myself, the truest kind of service, will always point a person directly to the Savior so that they may also experience the pure love of Christ.  I very quickly put all of these thoughts together, and I knew Ally's picture was an answered prayer.  Thank you Sister Noto, for providing this little learning experience for our family.