This summer, I had the brilliant idea that we should have a little 24th of July parade where the kids in the neighborhood rode their bikes around the block and the adults clapped and cheered, and visited. I mentioned the parade to several friends, and they jumped on board. I was also on board right up until the weekend before when we had just returned home from a ward campout, the laundry was blocking one of the
entrances to my home, and I was EXHAUSTED.
I pushed it to the back of my mind and hoped that everyone else did too. They did not. Several people called wanting to know the details, and my neighbor Carol (always being slightly more inspired than I), even printed invitations and had her kids take them to every house in the neighborhood. I remember saying to myself, "FINE! We will have the parade, but I am not putting one ounce of preparation into it!" I held true to my word. My heart did soften a little as everyone showed up, and I engaged in the conversation.
As the festivities started, all of the "regulars" had arrived and we were just ready to start when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a little family approaching. They live in the neighborhood and we were casual acquaintances, "casual" meaning that I didn't really know their names, how many children they had, or anything about them, but I did wave to them every Sunday as we walked around the block.
Seeing this as an opportunity to get better acquainted, I quickly approached and we made the official introductions. I finally knew their names and that they had 3 children, a 19 year old, a 4 year old, and a 2 year old. I followed up with a question to the wife, "You cut your hair didn't you?" Her response would change my life. "Actually, I just finished treatment for Breast Cancer." How are You now? I said, hoping for the best...."The doctor's told me that I could either do aggressive radiation until I died, or I could stop and enjoy what time I had. But we are still fighting, I am trying some other things."
I went to bed that night haunted by her words. I woke up the next morning and called Carol! "Do you want to take dinner over tonight?" Yes! And so we showed up to her house with soup and rolls that she could not eat (because of her strict diet), and very little to say....But I knew that we needed to be there.
Over the next 3 months, that feeling returned frequently. I knew I needed to get over to that house! At first I invented reasons, but the formalities quickly died and a feeling of great love and concern filled the hole that they had left. So I and many others went to their house and we went often. And just as I felt my heart completely attach to this woman and her family, it was over.
We attended her funeral last week.
In retrospect, I think the last 3 months have been one of the greatest learning experiences of my life. Beyond a shadow of any doubt, I know that God loves ALL of His children. I KNOW THAT GOD LOVES HIS CHILDREN.
And, reminiscent of when my dad died, I also saw exactly how God intended the organization of a FAMILY to work. Such tenderness was shown between a husband and a wife, a mother and father-in-law, siblings. I saw this great organization in action and the love between each of them was tangible. I will never forget the great care that was taken to make sure that my friend was comfortable and cherished.
At the luncheon after the funeral, a picture video of her life was presented. In each picture she was holding or standing with one of her children. As I watched and cried, I knew that God loved her for being a mom. He was proud of her life, but especially of her choice to be a Mother. Long after I would have succumbed to the pain, I saw her reach down and say to her daughter. "I've got to fight this for you. I've got to."
It has been a LONG, SAD week. I'm ashamed to say that several months ago I had NO CLUE what heartache was happening within the walls of a house just 10 down from my own. I am everlastingly grateful that the Lord knew all along and I am confident that He will be very aware of the heartache to follow.
