It is Working!!!!!! I can rarely say those words, so I thought I would start off by saying one more time - It is Working!!!!!
Every morning when Ally and Sam leave the house I kiss them goodbye, tell them that I love them, and then I open the door.....the minute I see them hit the road (without me) I have a bit of a melt-down. Do you have any idea how many different things could go wrong in the course of a day? There are kidnappers, kids teasing them on the playground, them teasing kids on the playground, broken bones, dirty pictures, dirty jokes, dirty people + a million more. I should know because every morning as I watch them walk away they run through my mind, leaving me a little hopeless.
So in my anxiety I yell to them as they are marching away, "I love you! Be good!" At that point I still want to yank them back inside and keep them from ever leaving again, but I know that isn't the right choice, so I yell out in complete desperation, "Listen to the Spirit." (I know..you are picturing what this looks like...and I know the picture isn't pretty - I'm okay with that, as long as they listen, I'm okay with that).
What else could I say that would be the solution to every situation that they might face? But then the question arises in my mind....Have I taught them how to listen to the Spirit?
This is what I have been working on for, what seems like months, and we are making some progress. It all started with listening to this, a converstaion with Elder Bednar and his wife! I realized that instead of lecturing my kids (which I am awesome at), I needed to start helping them find answers to their questions and solutions to their problems by listening to the Spirit (which I am not so awesome at), and then to ACT.
A few days ago at the dinner table Ally uneviled for us a problem on the bus. (The school bus is the bane of my existence). Well, as soon as she explained it to me, I knew what the solution was. (Afterall, we have been having the exact same problem for 3 years now, and I have told her the solution probably 100 times). But, with all of my might, I bit my tongue and waited. The only words I said were, "So Ally, what do you think you should do?" No resposne. So I waited some more. And FINALLY as we were doing the dishes she says to me, "Mom, I think if I stayed busy on the bus, that wouldn't happen to me anymore."
Really? She acted like it was her own idea, and she was so proud of herself (remember the 100 lectures that I had already given? That was the lecture.) But if it worked, I was willing to let her think it was her own idea.
I would just like to report that the last 3 days have been problem free (on the bus anyway) because she has been following her own advice! And because it was her own advice (inspired by the Spirit), everyday she believes it more and more. It is working!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
"It is my TIME of LIFE!"
Elder Holland gave a talk that I find relates to my life at least DAILY. Today, these words came floating through my subconscious as I think about my weekend's experience:
"There are little cliches that we learn early in our lives. Most of them I hate; some of them I really hate. I think number one on my list is "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I hate that. I'll take sticks and stones any day. But second to that are the cliches "Ignorance is bliss" and "What I don't know won't hurt me." Let me say to you with all of the intensity that I have that nothing will hurt you more than what you don't know." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
I hate most of them too! (The one I HATE the very most is "All's well that end's well." There is very little truth in that very poorly worded sentence.) But today I speak of a cliche that perhaps will strike members of the church I belong to more than others....because we say it...and we say it A LOT!
"It is just not my time of life," flows freely though the hall of every Relief Society room. It usually pertains to one of two things. #1- Quilting or #2 - Family History! It is said by the busy young mother who wishes away her life so she could have time to do other things.
In the case of quilting.......let's just say that I don't dream of filling my days with endless quilting! My mother who always ends up finishing or rescuing the project, doesn't dream of it either.
In the case of Family History, it simply is not true. There is not one right time of life to do family history.
If you didn't know already, our church is BIG on Family History. We know what a pedigree chart looks like and what the word genealogy means by age 5. We search out our ancestors for many reasons. Our main goal is to take their names to Temples of God and unite them to their Families Forever!
Many older people have time to do hours and hours of research and take trip after trip to the temple! I DO NOT! I struggle to find time to brush my teeth some days. So we say to ease our conscience, "It is not my time of life," and cross 'family history' off of our to-do lists for the next 10 years. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I think there is more than one way to do family history and only certain ways are appropriate at certain times of life.
Right now I can make it to the temple once a month, but I feel absolutely NO guilt that I do not make it to the temple each week. (I am sure when my family is at the right stage and I am able, the motivating guilt will magically appear). Conversely, I would be plagued with guilt if I left my 5 children day after day to save their ancestors. Family history would be a bleak subject if people didn't take care of the Family Present.
This month will mark the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death. I have learned one thing in those 2 years, again and again. We are all in this together, the living, the dead, and those to come.
This Saturday we ventured to St. Thomas. A little town on the edge of Lake Mead that was evacuated so that the Lake could exist. Since then, the waters have receded and the foundations of that little city is once again visible. As I walked through the remains and saw foundation after foundation and bits of the history laying on the ground. This thought came to me. "If this is all we come for, to build a house, have a job, and survive, until it is all over -- it is a cruel joke! There has to be something more!"
There was something more. Sitting by the foundations were the descendants of these people with pictures of their ancestors, and a twinkle in their eye when the claimed them as family. Family History means Saving Families and there are about a million things I can do RIGHT NOW, at this time of my life, to save Families!
"There are little cliches that we learn early in our lives. Most of them I hate; some of them I really hate. I think number one on my list is "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I hate that. I'll take sticks and stones any day. But second to that are the cliches "Ignorance is bliss" and "What I don't know won't hurt me." Let me say to you with all of the intensity that I have that nothing will hurt you more than what you don't know." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
I hate most of them too! (The one I HATE the very most is "All's well that end's well." There is very little truth in that very poorly worded sentence.) But today I speak of a cliche that perhaps will strike members of the church I belong to more than others....because we say it...and we say it A LOT!
"It is just not my time of life," flows freely though the hall of every Relief Society room. It usually pertains to one of two things. #1- Quilting or #2 - Family History! It is said by the busy young mother who wishes away her life so she could have time to do other things.
In the case of quilting.......let's just say that I don't dream of filling my days with endless quilting! My mother who always ends up finishing or rescuing the project, doesn't dream of it either.
In the case of Family History, it simply is not true. There is not one right time of life to do family history.
If you didn't know already, our church is BIG on Family History. We know what a pedigree chart looks like and what the word genealogy means by age 5. We search out our ancestors for many reasons. Our main goal is to take their names to Temples of God and unite them to their Families Forever!
Many older people have time to do hours and hours of research and take trip after trip to the temple! I DO NOT! I struggle to find time to brush my teeth some days. So we say to ease our conscience, "It is not my time of life," and cross 'family history' off of our to-do lists for the next 10 years. I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I think there is more than one way to do family history and only certain ways are appropriate at certain times of life.
Right now I can make it to the temple once a month, but I feel absolutely NO guilt that I do not make it to the temple each week. (I am sure when my family is at the right stage and I am able, the motivating guilt will magically appear). Conversely, I would be plagued with guilt if I left my 5 children day after day to save their ancestors. Family history would be a bleak subject if people didn't take care of the Family Present.
This month will mark the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death. I have learned one thing in those 2 years, again and again. We are all in this together, the living, the dead, and those to come.
This Saturday we ventured to St. Thomas. A little town on the edge of Lake Mead that was evacuated so that the Lake could exist. Since then, the waters have receded and the foundations of that little city is once again visible. As I walked through the remains and saw foundation after foundation and bits of the history laying on the ground. This thought came to me. "If this is all we come for, to build a house, have a job, and survive, until it is all over -- it is a cruel joke! There has to be something more!"
There was something more. Sitting by the foundations were the descendants of these people with pictures of their ancestors, and a twinkle in their eye when the claimed them as family. Family History means Saving Families and there are about a million things I can do RIGHT NOW, at this time of my life, to save Families!
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