To say that life has been a bit demanding lately would not be overstating the truth. There is nothing special going on, just motherhood and it's sleepless nights and busy days. But I am EXHAUSTED and I knew that exhaustion had carried me to the BRINK when I went on a morning run.
Putting the earplugs in and turning on the ipod was a perfect start. UNTIL the song......Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean came on---Don't JUDGE! (I am really not sure why they even call it a song...he never sings a word)! I remember putting it on my play list because it reminded me of my dad and taking long drives. By the time Big Bad John is buried in the mine and they are erecting a monument, I am weeping uncontrollably.
To top it off, the next song was Pink Shoelaces (really, this should be on the list of classics). When I was about 10, my parents gave me a little jukebox filled with 8 tapes of 50's music. Being the music connoisseur that I am, I was immediately attracted to this little ditty and by the end of the day, we had memorized every word and were performing actions to it on top of the fireplace for the entire family to see. (Don't deny it Erin and Susan--listen to it, you still know the actions--don't you!). The memories started flowing and I stopped running. I couldn't anymore, remember, I am on the BRINK, and for no apparent reason, WEEPING uncontrollably.
By the end of the jog/run/convulsions, I had come to only one conclusion: Parenting, it the most SELFLESS job ever created. Let me tell you how I arrived there. Remember Big Bad John? Because he had done something good for humanity, they naturally erected a monument to him. Don't we always expect a monument of some kind?
Every Senior class is convinced that they were the greatest class to walk the halls of their school......They just know they should be remembered, so they plant a tree, engrave their names on a stone, post their pictures in the hall.......Do you see where I am going? My dad always said that "there is nothing more important than a Senior boy." When those important boys would ask him if they would be remembered, his answer was always the same. "Pretty soon, you will just be a Whisper in the Halls." "Never!" They say, and they erect the monument!
I don't think my mom and dad ever did anything with the thoughts that there would be a plaque at the end of the tunnel! But what if there was a plaque put in place every time a parent succeeded in teaching their children a life's lesson......
A plaque on my left foot "To Joe - for teaching me how to work, providing opportunities to kill gophers, roll trees, mow lawns, cut wood, stack wood...."
A plaque on my right foot "To Donna - for welcoming me home from a hard days work of killing gophers with Brownies, grape kool-aid, a clean home, and a smile."
I could write the inscriptions folks, but let's be honest, we would run out of room very quickly, and as much as we want to show our appreciation, they wouldn't want it. They do it simply for us. Because they love us.
I think I was weeping because I have finally come to realize that my dad is now just a "whisper in the halls," he "whispers" to me, and I can hear it. Every time I switch my laundry I can hear him saying, "Kathryn, it is a law of physics that if you shake out your clothes, they will dry faster." Every time I open my scriptures I can hear him say, "the good book should be studied." Every time I am TIRED and want to quit, the whisper comes, "Buck Up Kathryn."
I am afraid that I am the only one that thinks it is sad. Every time I do something good, the people that know me think--I did it. They don't realize the work of parenting that went into it, and saddest of all, they don't know my dad. So my heart wants to erect a plaque, but he wouldn't want it. Remember, parenting is the most selfless job created. Donna and Joe's years of parenting were a gift, without a name tag. I think.....in GREAT RETROSPECT, that is how Big Bad John would have wanted it to :)
