Libro Numero Uno :)

When I teenage-ish, I was a HUGE goal setter.  Every New Years, I would write down my list of 20 or so goals on a cute piece of paper in my best handwriting and place them carefully in my journal.  I would check back on the piece of paper all through the month of January, then I wouldn't see it again until the next January, until it was time to find some more cute paper and write down the same 20 goals, with even cuter handwriting than the previous year.

When I met Jared, he was ANTI- new year's resolutions, "If there is something to change, why wait until the New Years to do it?"  he would say.  And I am not sure, but I think he may have heard that one form his dad :)  So my goal setting stopped, and I started focusing on the NOW.

A quote that really helped me came from last April's Ensign.  President Eyering was talking about what should happen during the Sacrament, "I have found in that moment (during the Sacrament) that God can give us what feels like a personal interview.  He brings to my attention what I have done that PLEASES HIM.  my need for REPENTANCE and FORGIVENESS, and the NAMES and FACES of people He would have me serve for Him."

This has become my New Years RESOLUTIONS, plan, and follow up all rolled up into one nice little package.  AND IT HAPPENS EVERY WEEK, not just in January.  I feel the things my CHARACTER has to work on, are slowly changing over time and I am grateful.

But Alas, this year, I did set some goals, and that is the real point of this post.  I set goals with numbers on them.  Things that need to be quantified (indexing, maybe weight, and definitely dates with the husband :) so that I could say at the end of 2014 that I wasn't wasting away my days of probation.

One time I was given a blessing which admonished me to read good literature.  I do, but not nearly often enough.  This year I have made the goal to read 24 books.  The first one I read over the break.

Elizabeth Smart, My Story!  It was an interesting experience.  I had to read it in one day.  As I got into it, and beheld the horror, I told Jared, "I cannot stop until I get to a happy place."  Which did come, but not until the final chapters of the book.

This book was incredible!  Well written and tastefully done.  About a girl who was thrust into darkest confines that this life probably has to offer, yet she could still see through eyes of faith.  She had had 14 years of "light" when she saw the darkness, she could judge between the two.  Differently, than myself, she kept reminding herself what light was like, what happiness felt like.  Sometimes I am quick to jump into the black and grey and wallow in its 50 shades.  Not her!

At the tender age of 14, (and perhaps everyday of the rest of her life) she had contrast the two, and make a choice.  Quite simply, she chose light, she chose happiness.

What follows Christmas...Spring Cleaning OF COURSE!

We had a FABULOUS Christmas.  It was so good to be with family, and snow, and fireplaces, and peanut brittle, made by someone other than me.  It was good to go to Church with my family (I LOVE that) and to see my nieces and nephews, who I adore, and adore even more when they grow taller than me :)

Jared surprised me with a Kitchen Aid, and I surprised him with a picture of us, and a poem Photoshoped on top of it, that he wrote for me and read to me when we got engaged.  It was TENDER, and he CRIED, a reaction, I have never gotten out of him :)  The reaction from my sister Patti, who is pretty much REACTION-LESS when it comes to presents, was not as good, to say the least.

We played so hard, and lost so much sleep, that we came home DRAINED.  Sledding and snowmobiling for hours on end (and chatting, maybe sometimes (maybe sometimes getting into heated conversations about common core...that all ended well) can be EXHAUSTING.  To top it all off, Jared and I have been a little concerned about future plans, so what did we do.  We came home and SPRING CLEANED our entire house.  It was AWESOME!  I loved every minute of it.  That is a lie.

However, I love my house, I love its organization, and I love to live simply :)  Life is good.

I encountered a situation last night that I have yet to encounter in my first 11 years of parenting.  I was tucking Joe into bed, and (as always) it was a struggle to get him to say his prayers.  I finally said, "Joe, Jesus will be so sad."  To which he said,  "Mom, Jesus died.  He may be alive somewhere else now, but He isn't here, and He can't see me saying my prayers."

I honestly had no idea what to say to Him.  I was dumbfounded.  Finally I just told him, "Joe, I know you can't see Him, but He can ALWAYS see you, and he can ALWAYS hear you."

Maybe this parenting thing is more than I was cut out for.  I have never even contemplated the fact that He might not be able to hear me.  He always feels so close....like Christmas 365 days a year.  Joe is 5. Joe is going to be fine, life just takes practice, experience, and belief.  However, I may not be fine, I don't know if my heart can take this for the rest of my life...