These are The RULES

A few weeks ago I got released from  a GREAT calling and and I miss rubbing shoulders with great young adults.....But right now I have two callings in my ward.  I am the Primary Chorister (Yeah!) and I get to teach the 5th Sunday lesson to the Combined Priesthood and Relief Society class.  (Double Yeah!)  It has been a DELIGHTFUL calling and today did not prove to be any different.

The Subject = Bearing one anothers burdens!

In preparation for this lesson, I studied our baptismal covenants (Mosiah 18:8-9) and I saw it a little differently.  In verse 9 it asks if we are ready to make the promises that go along with baptism.  One of those promises is that we will BEAR ONE ANOTHER'S BURDENS.  I always thought that verse 9 was a nice little side note on the subject, but I realized that it was actually a carefully packaged definition of what it means to Bear One Another's Burdens.  As Follows:

Bear One Another's Burdens - willing to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, stand as a witness of God at all times.

So, as a class, we very carefully went through each part of the definition...starting with this request, "Please give me some unnoficial rules to mourning and comforting correctly." To say that my ward is on the older side may be a slight understatement.  Let's just say that there was plenty of experience in death, divorce, sickness, and just about anything else within those four walls. 

So the List of Rules went as Follows:
Just BE THERE.
Never Say "Let me know if you need anything."  Just do something.
Love them
Listen
Puffs Plus Kleenex with lotion is a great gift.
Never underestimate the power of a casserole
and the two we concentrated on the most.
Never use a person's time of need to TELL YOUR STORY!  ("I know just how you feel" is not the right path to go down.)
Never say "Isn't it great that we have the Gospel, this isn't a loss...." (Remember from the Bible Dictionary, The law of love deals with the ACTUAL FACTS of LIFE.)

The list went on.....but what happened AFTER the lesson was the funny part.  In our ward we have several people that "winter" down here but live in Utah and Idaho during the summer (can't say that I blame them).
After the lesson one of these winter couples approached my mom and I and we made several connections.  They are from Tetonia and the man coached at Teton high school.  He knew my dad well and pointing to my jaw said, "you look just like him." 

Well, we chatted for several minutes and then in parting, this brother said to my mom, "Well tell Joe Hello."  My mom quickly said, "he died two years ago." and thought to herself, We NEED TO ADD TO THE LIST OF RULES.

I am ONE of THEM!

You know who I am talking about.  She is the lady in the middle of the bleachers yelling at her child or the coach, or the children of the opposite coach.  Most of them have big hair and a fake fingernails.  And everyone around her is whispering, wondering why in the world she does not realize she is making a fool of herself.....she is clueless that anybody is even whispering, let alone that she is making a fool of herself. 

Yesterday as I sat at Ally's first Little League Basketball game, I realized (what I have probably known all along)  I AM THAT LADY (minus the big hair and fake fingernails).

Over the years we have been hesitant to enroll our kids in too many activities, okay ANY activities.  We wanted to have time for all of the important things and just didn't feel like it was needed.  However, as Ally entered the 3rd grade, I told Jared it was time....and then I started scheming. 

If she was going to be involved with something, it was going to be athletic (what in the world would I do with a dancer - can you say FOREIGN?)  And if she was going to be athletic, she was going to be good at it!  And if we were going to go to all that work, she was going to be ready to play ball in school, and if she was going to play in school, we should probably shoot for the state title ---Can you see where this was going? 

And the entire athletic career started YESTERDAY.  Ally and 4 little girls entered the court with JARED as their coach and the minute the whistle blew, MY MOUTH STARTED YELLING, and did NOT STOP FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR.  To be completely honest, most of the time I was not even aware that I was talking.....until I looked at the nice little families to the left and the right pointing at the children giggling at their innocence at the exact same time that I am yelling, "FOR HEAVEN SAKES ALLY GRAB THE BALL IT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" 

Well, if yesterday is an indication of her entire athletic career, it may be dismal for both of us.  The team lost 6 to 14 and I lost my mind....If the next time you see me with fake fingernails, reel me in, shake some sense in me, and tell me that PEOPLE ARE WHISPERING....

To Join the Debate or Not???

When I was in High School I begged my parents to join the debate team.  They said NO!  Seriously?  While some people are begging to go to late night parties, I am begging to join debate, I demanded a reason why! 

As I recall it, my mother said, "Kathryn, it will destroy your soul!"  She knew I would be GOOD and I knew I would have been GOOD....I have always been great at fighting (verbally and intellectually that is), but over the years I have tried my hardest to tame the inner need, and often I am reminded why!

Like today as I am driving to St. George, listening to Newt Gingrich's first "answer" of the night, and my heart starts pounding, my fists clench tightly around the steering wheel, and I start yelling at the radio (it made me feel better), but the more I yell, the more I become convinced that I have a POINT THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE, heard around the WORLD if possible.  So here I am 9:30 at night on the eve of the primary, blogging.  WORLD (nevadans, utahans, Idahoans, a few Washingtonians, Californians, 1 Nebraskan, and perhaps a Peruvian) Please hear what I have to say.

Know this first, I am not fighting for a candidate, I am fighting against a MAJOR OVERSIGHT!

Tonight I would like to give you my answer (in a round-about way) to the age old question of:  "Should Private Life be considered when electing a Public Official."

Perhaps I could start by asking another question. "What is it about our private life, that would prepare us for public office?" 

In our church, the kids sing a little song, which I adore, that talks about FAMILY.  One line ran through my mind, (okay actually I screamed it at the radio) as I listened to the debate today.  It goes as follows

God gave us FAMILIES to help us BECOME what HE wants us to be!

As Newt answered a question about his private life, I think this principal was lost in the dust of political savy. At one point after the "this is a despicable way to start a debate...." he said that this country has BIG problems and we have BIG ideas (I am quoting roughly, google is not cooperating right now).  

Once again I respond with a question:  Are there any LITTLE things that you learned in your personal life that could have benefited you while dealing with these BIG things?   



I am reminded of the boy that checked into my dad's Algebra 11 class and was checked out shortly thereafter when, his mother promised that he was ready, but he did not know his addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division facts. 

I think in the end we are bound to realize that the LITTLE things that we learn on the stage of our own home are the real lessons of life, and the BIG things are just an implementation of things we learned during each of those LITTLE moments. 

 If you want to be successful in ANYTHING, be successful in the MOST IMPORTANT thing!  Be a dad, Be a mother, be a father, be a wife, be loyal, be kind, discern between right and wrong AND DO IT, always protect the people you have been given charge over, be a leader.....Does any of this sound like good credentials to put on a Presidential Portfolio?  Lots of people can Talk the Talk but all is lost in a game of fancy words unless we walk (in our own hallways, living rooms, and kitchens) the WALK! 

I Know How this All Turns Out

There is something about Stake Conference that makes me want to BLOG.  Last night was the Adult Session.  Every talk and song held something for me.  To start with we are adding Called to Serve to my Soprano list.  Although I am true-blue alto, there are some songs I MUST sing in soprano (perhaps my neighbors would not agree, but I simply cannot express how excited I feel on an low E).  Called to Serve is definitely a soprano song!

A young man, recently baptized spoke.  I was beyond impressed.  Impressed with him and my friends Skyler and Daniel Neil.  Out of a tragedy, the loss of their baby, and their reaction to it, they have changed generations of lives.  I know!  I am a product of ONE person that joined the Church and to date has changed many many lives.  I have always loved the Neils....today I love them even more!

In a interesting train of thoughts, I also made a connection that I would like to share with you today.  All thoughts were prompted by what the speakers were saying, and the gracious way they invited the Spirit into the meeting.

I think it will have been 4 years ago that my mom and dad came to visit.  In the course of their visit we went to church and at the time I was serving as the Gospel Doctrine instructor.  If my memory serves me correctly we were in the New Testament...discussing all of the trials that Paul suffered.  My intent was to have a discussion on the GOOD THAT COMES FROM SUFFERING FROM TRIALS.  

On a side note, while growing up, if I was singing or talking in church, participating in the Show Choir or Musical at school.....I could always look down into the crowd and see my mom mouthing the words of whatever I was singing or talking about.  Whether it was a memorized selection or completely off the cuff.  She was mouthing...and interestingly enough, most times we were on the same wave length.  On this particular Sunday I distinctly remembered teaching and looking down to see my dad mouthing the words.  Carefully examining my life at this point, I can see that there can be NO SUBSTITUTE for an INTEREST that a PARENT takes in a CHILD. 

Back to the discussion...the good that comes from suffering trials.  Well, the discussion was not going the way I had planned, to put it bluntly, there was no discussion.  My carefully worded questions were not evoking any answers, so in a bit of desperation, I turned to my dad and said, "Dad, tell us, what does 3 kidney transplants, and cancer do for a person?" 
His response, "Well, through all of it I think I learned something.  The only thing I could control was my attitude." 
At the time I thought, "Really Dad, that's all you've got for me?" 

But after 4 years of careful consideration, I get it, or I am starting to get it. I looked back at my dad's journals, the day he was diagnosed with kidney failure.  Without writing anything to private, he recorded the following thoughts.  "I’m not afraid to die or even be sick, although I realize that being sick is not my best thing.  .  My greatest concern is with my family....This is a tough time for all but our faith and love for each other will help us through.  I have such great promises ... and I need to have the faith required to receive those blessings.  I pray that I will be a more dedicated servant. "

President Messer reminded me last night of something that President Hinckley said to Mike Wallace at the very end of his initial interview with him.  Mike Wallace asked him how he could always be so cheerful.  President Hinkley's response (roughly quoting)  "Mike, I know how this all turns out!" 

My dad knew how it would all turn out as well. He knew it 35 years ago at the initial diagnosis, and he knew it 2 years ago, when it was time to REALLY KNOW!  I know beyond any doubt that there is hope during the hardest days, there is light in the darkest nights.  Because in the beginning there was a FATHER that took the greatest interest in all of us and sent his Only Begotten Son.  Because of Him, I should be the happiest person on earth, every day!  After all, there is only one thing that I can control!

I am obsessed with OWL HATS!

I have but a minute to blog this afternoon (and wondering when I am going to fit it in with a 9:00 Church meeting schedule....I have always loved the 9 o'clock block......always is before I had 5 kids to get ready!  Thank Heavens that only one of those children has hair that I must do!  My mother is a SAINT!)

I would like to report that Christmas was a SMASHING SUCCESS.  I took Julie B. Beck's talk to heart and thought that "being brilliant in the basics" included buying Christmas presents.  Surely shopping is BASIC!  I had a couple of goals.  Each kid would get something that made them SMARTER (most of them got a really cool game from Amazon.com - I LOVE AMAZON).  Something that increased one of their talents. A BOOK (I got 4 - Jared did AWESOME this Christmas)!  A Scrapbook!  And something really fun, that I knew they would LOVE!  My number one goal was to not buy any JUNK (meaning that it won't fall apart, and I wont hate myself for buying it in a month)!  I think we succeeded and we have a whole year to use all of our fun, not junky stuff! 

We got to see ALL of my family.  And to top it all of, Jared surprised me with a Jon Schmidt and Steven Sharp Nelson Concert in which we heard 3 solid hours of things like THIS:

Life is good!  Judge for yourself from the pictures below.  Oh, and Happy New Year!

 

Merry Christmas!

Dear Friends and Family!

Merry Christmas to all of you from all of the BOLTON’s. We love you and want you to know it! It has been a great Christmas Season starting in October with Pandora Christmas Music all the way until Today! We are grateful for the Savior, His Birth, His Life, and His Continuing Presence in our lives.

For the last few days I have been mulling over some of the Quotes that run through my mind this time of year (some new, some old). And for my own pleasure, I would like to post some of them without citations. You can decide where they come from, take a quiz, tell me your score. Some may appear not to be to Christmas Related, but they have come to mean Christmas to me….Enjoy!

1.  And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

2. “Business!”.…“Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

3. Be near me Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay, Close by me forever, and love me I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, and fit us for heaven, to live with Thee there.

4. “And now as pertaining to this perfect Atonement, I testify that it took place at Gethsemane and at Golgotha. And as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God who was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person. I am one of his Witnesses. And in the coming day I will feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better then than I know now that he is God's almighty Son and he is our Savior and Redeemer and that Salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way.”

5. “Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: God is not dead, nor doth he sleep; the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men.”

6. I am not satisfied with the conduct of this division. Some of you men are under the impression having been at Anzio entitles you not to wear neckties. Well you're wrong. Neckties will be worn in this area! And look at the rest of your appearance. You're a disgrace to the outfit. You're soft! You're sloppy! You're unruly! You're undisciplined!
[pause] And I never saw anything look so wonderful in my whole life. Thank you all!

7. “If there were no Easter, there would be no Christmas.

8.  Imagine a big outfit like Macy's...putting the spirit of Christmas ahead of the commercial.

9. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

10.  “Tell me then,” he cried brokenly, “since my life has been so little worth, how came I here at all?”

“Through the mercy of the King”- came the clear low reply.

“But how have I failed so wretchedly,” he asked, “in all the purpose of my life? What could I have done better? What is it that counts here?”

“Only that which is truly give,” answered the bell-like voice. “Only that good which is done for the love of doing it. Only those plans in which the welfare of others is the master thought. Only those labors in which the sacrifice is greater than the reward. Only those gifts in which the giver forgets himself.”

There would be no Christmas if there were no Easter

So the other night at the dinner table we got into a DEEP discussion.  I thought of a quote that I once heard President Hinkley say and I asked the kids what it meant.  The quote is as follows: 

"There would be no Christmas if there were no Easter."

I wanted Ally and Sam's interpretation....Are you ready for this? 

Sam - "If there were no holidays there wouldn't be much fun."

Ally - "The question should be, if there were no Christmas there would be no Easter."

Well, we have a ways to go....This morning it dawned on me that this would be my 35th Christmas, and shortly thereafter it dawned on me that Christ never reached a 34th or a 35th Christmas.  And as a result of this conversation in my head, I thought of how much time I have wasted in BECOMING something very useful.  I am going need 1,000 more years to amount to anything I would hope for.  Christ did it in 33. 

This Christmas I have found myself thinking more about Easter than about Christmas.....I am not sure you can seperate the two.  As I read my scriptures this morning Issiah told the people that God would give a sign....

"Therefore, the Lord himself shall give you a sign—Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and shall bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."

And I wondered what THIS SIGN should tell us. Please add to my list: 

God Loves Us

God is Merciful

God is Just

God has a Plan

God has not Left us Alone

God knows how much we need HIM.......................................

HAPPY THINKING!