Another Lecture?

It is Working!!!!!!  I can rarely say those words, so I thought I would start off by saying one more time - It is Working!!!!!

Every morning when Ally and Sam leave the house I kiss them goodbye, tell them that I love them, and then I open the door.....the minute I see them hit the road (without me) I have a bit of a melt-down.  Do you have any idea how many different things could go wrong in the course of a day?  There are kidnappers, kids teasing them on the playground, them teasing kids on the playground, broken bones, dirty pictures, dirty jokes, dirty people + a million more.  I should know because every morning as I watch them walk away they run through my mind, leaving me a little hopeless. 

So in my anxiety I yell to them as they are marching away, "I love you!  Be good!"  At that point I still want to yank them back inside and keep them from ever leaving again, but I know that isn't the right choice, so I yell out in complete desperation, "Listen to the Spirit."  (I know..you are picturing what this looks like...and I know the picture isn't pretty - I'm okay with that, as long as they listen, I'm okay with that).

What else could I say that would be the solution to every situation that they might face?   But then the question arises in my mind....Have I taught them how to listen to the Spirit?

This is what I have been working on for, what seems like months, and we are making some progress.  It all started with listening to this, a converstaion  with Elder Bednar and his wife!  I realized that instead of lecturing my kids (which I am awesome at), I needed to start helping them find answers to their questions and solutions to their problems by listening to the Spirit (which I am not so awesome at), and then to ACT. 

A few days ago at the dinner table Ally uneviled for us a problem on the bus.  (The school bus is the bane of my existence).  Well, as soon as she explained it to me, I knew what the solution was. (Afterall, we have been having the exact same problem for 3 years now, and I have told her the solution probably 100 times).   But, with all of my might, I bit my tongue and waited.  The only words I said were, "So Ally, what do you think you should do?"  No resposne.  So I waited some more.  And FINALLY as we were doing the dishes she says to me, "Mom, I think if I stayed busy on the bus, that wouldn't happen to me anymore."

Really?  She acted like it was her own idea, and she was so proud of herself (remember the 100 lectures that I had already given?  That was the lecture.)  But if it worked, I was willing to let her think it was her own idea. 

I would just like to report that the last 3 days have been problem free (on the bus anyway) because she has been following her own advice!  And because it was her own advice (inspired by the Spirit), everyday she believes it more and more.  It is working!

 

"It is my TIME of LIFE!"

Elder Holland gave a talk that I find relates to my life at least DAILY.  Today, these words came floating through my subconscious as I think about my weekend's experience:

"There are little cliches that we learn early in our lives. Most of them I hate; some of them I really hate. I think number one on my list is "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I hate that. I'll take sticks and stones any day. But second to that are the cliches "Ignorance is bliss" and "What I don't know won't hurt me." Let me say to you with all of the intensity that I have that nothing will hurt you more than what you don't know." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I hate most of them too!  (The one I HATE the very most is "All's well that end's well."  There is very little truth in that very poorly worded sentence.)  But today I speak of a cliche that perhaps will strike members of the church I belong to more than others....because we say it...and we say it A LOT! 

"It is just not my time of life,"  flows freely though the hall of every Relief Society room.  It usually pertains to one of two things.  #1- Quilting or #2 - Family History!  It is said by the busy young mother who wishes away her life so she could have time to do other things. 

In the case of quilting.......let's just say that I don't dream of filling my days with endless quilting!  My mother who always ends up finishing or rescuing the project, doesn't dream of it either.

In the case of Family History, it simply is not true.  There is not one right time of life to do family history.   

If you didn't know already, our church is BIG on Family History.  We know what a pedigree chart looks like and what the word genealogy means by age 5.  We search out our ancestors for many reasons.  Our main goal is to take their names to Temples of God and unite them to their Families Forever! 

Many older people have time to do hours and hours of research and take trip after trip to the temple!  I DO NOT!  I struggle to find time to brush my teeth some days.  So we say to ease our conscience, "It is not my time of life," and cross 'family history' off of our to-do lists for the next 10 years.  I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I think there is more than one way to do family history and only certain ways are appropriate at certain times of life. 

Right now I can make it to the temple once a month, but I feel absolutely NO guilt that I do not make it to the temple each week. (I am sure when my family is at the right stage and I am able, the motivating guilt will magically appear).  Conversely, I would be plagued with guilt if I left my 5 children day after day to save their ancestors.  Family history would be a bleak subject if people didn't take care of the Family Present. 

This month will mark the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death.  I have learned one thing in those 2 years, again and again.  We are all in this together, the living, the dead, and those to come. 

This Saturday we ventured to St. Thomas.  A little town on the edge of Lake Mead that was evacuated so that the Lake could exist.  Since then, the waters have receded and the foundations of that little city is once again visible.  As I walked through the remains and saw foundation after foundation and bits of the history laying on the ground.  This thought came to me.  "If this is all we come for, to build a house, have a job, and survive, until it is all over -- it is a cruel joke!  There has to be something more!" 

There was something more.  Sitting by the foundations were the descendants of these people with pictures of their ancestors, and a twinkle in their eye when the claimed them as family.  Family History means Saving Families and there are about a million things I can do RIGHT NOW, at this time of my life, to save Families!

Family is a WORK of FAITH

I admit it!  I am an occasional facebook stalker, actually, I am really more of a people stalker.  (I wrote that in hopes of adding a bit of credibility not creepiness).  Let me explain.  My dad loved to go shopping with us.  However, he did very little shopping.  He would take us to the mall and then find a comfortable bench and OBSERVE.  When we finished shopping, we would go and find him.  By that time, he had found a family to watch and had figured out their entire story.  We would sit down and he would recount his observations and assumptions to us.  It was quite entertaining, and I adopted the habit. 

When Jared and I go out to eat, I find  myself listening to the people in the next booth or reading lips from across the room.  People fascinate me!  So when I check my facebook, every once in a while I get lost in looking at friends of friends and strangers alike...Tyring to figure out their story.

This weekend I happened upon a stranger who I felt great empathy for.  And although she will probably never read this post, it is for her!   She had just had her first baby, and was feeling a little EMPTY as a result of going from a profession to full-time motherhood.  It was obvious that she loved her baby, but she just wasn't sure she loved everything else.  To say the least, I could relate. 

Ally, my firstborn and only girl, was born in the year 2003.  I had her on May 26th.  That day I ended a 5 year teaching career.  Those five years were filled with success, sharp looking business suits, awards, and many opportunities.

As the nurse placed her in my arms, I had, as I have with all of my children, the distinct impression that only God could have created something so entirely perfect.   About a month later I remember being in the car with Jared and the tears started to come...."I hate my life.  My mind is dying.  And I am tired."  There were no more business suits (who could fit into them anyway), definitely no recognition, and  I thought that all of my opportunities had died.   But over the last 8 years, I have been patiently tutored by a Loving Heavenly Father to really figure out what life is all about.  Let me explain. 

When I held her in my arms I knew that Heavenly Father had given me a great gift.  But after dozens of sleepless nights, diapers, LAUNDRY (7 lbs of baby produces 7 tons of dirty laundry), Heavenly Father left the picture.  And what was I left with?  Diapers, laundry, and sleepless nights that held absolutely NO PURPOSE. 

There was only one solution to this entire mess.  Put HEAVEN back in the picture and realize that if Family was ANYTHING, it is a WORK OF FAITH.  We believe that:  All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.

I had gotten so caught up in my daily temporal hardships that my "spiritual fireplace mantel" now contained a picture of a sink overflowing with dishes, and not one of DIVINE DESTINY... Fast forward 8 years.....3 weeks ago I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting and I had a distinct impression.  I have no idea what the speaker was saying, but I heard (felt) "You will preach the Gospel throughout the world."  WHAT?  I thought? The impression continued.  I saw my boys in suits and name tags, and Ally holding a child. 

Whether you think the divine destiny of your child holds missions, it matters very little.  Every parent knows that packaged within that little baby is something that COULD BE GREAT.  However, the process of unwrapping it is SLOW, TIME CONSUMING, AND DOWN-RIGHT HARD.  But my advice to you dear facebook stranger is HOLD ON.  You can help unwrap the BEST package if you will just HOLD ON.  The work of family is a work of FAITH.

I truly believe that mothers are the most powerful people on earth (every time I say that I feel like donning a cape and embroidering the letter M on my shirt).  When heaven is on our side we mold people.  People that shape future families, communities, the world.   I have finally come to realize that what others may see as meaningless and mundane holds worlds without end of importance.  I will leave you with my new favorite quote and hope the airwaves are kind to us and that this post finds you.....holding on!

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

Women's Conference

So I had to speak at Women's Conference this morning and it was really fun.  The Stake Relief Society Preisdncy did a fabulous job!  My topic was having a KIND heart.  (I know, I needed it, especially after a 0 and 3 basketball season....for another time).  Anyway, I thought I would perserve the talk.  I kind of get attached.  When you study for a month it becomes personal.  So here it goes:

The theme of this conference is "having a heart like his." For several weeks this question RAN through my mind - WHAT  SCRIPTURE OF PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURES CLEARLY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT KIND OF HEART THE SAVIOR HAD?  Of course there are many but this one came to the forefront.

If you will, I would like to turn your memory to 3rd Nephi.  The Savior has been crucified and the entire earth has suffered.  The people on the American continent have just seen destruction and death like they never could have imagined.  Then it happens….In Chapter 10 The Savior appears and teaches the righteous that have been spared.

For 7 chapters He ministers to them.  He gives them hope through covenants he has made with their fathers, the Atonement and the plan of Salvation.  He lays out a path for their return to live with Heavenly Father again.   He calls the 12 so that when He leaves they will be watched over.  As if this already did not show the kind of love that the Savior has for God's Children, in chapter 17 it gets personal. 

He announces my TIME IS UP.  He needs to go back to the Father as the footnote states.  But because of the love that He felt for these people, He couldn't leave just yet.  It states:

 3 Nephi 17:5-7

5.  And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude ,and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.

6.  And he said unto them:  Behold, my bowels are filled with COMPASSION towards you.

7.  Have ye any that are sick among you?  Bring them hither.  Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner?  Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have COMPASSION upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.

 Because The Savior loved these people, he used His EYES to  LOOK  for ways to help and then He used his HANDS to  BLESS them. 

When it comes down to it, I think we would like to do the exact same thing, but sometimes we have SPIRITUAL CATARACTS on our eyes and BOXING GLOVES on our hands.

Let me illustrate with a couple of stories:

1.  Several Years ago in a World Wide Leadership Meeting to Patriarchs, President Hinckley recounted the following story:

I remember some years ago interviewing a patriarch in California. He was a railroad switchman, working with men who certainly were not known for their spirituality. He was a large man physically; I remember I was impressed with his size. He told me this experience.

He said, “I was having difficulty getting the spirit of my work as a patriarch. I struggled for it. I prayed for it. One day when I was working in the railroad yard, the noon whistle blew. I got my lunchbox and went over and sat on a pile of railroad ties to eat. I looked at my lunch. It included two big sandwiches, fruit dessert and drinks. As id did so, something seemed to say to me ‘you are a glutton. How can you expect the Spirit of the Lord to bless you?’

           

He said, “I was a glutton. I enjoyed eating more than anything else. I overate. I came to realize that I must change my ways that I could get by with eating less . 

This Man's passion for food was blurring His Vision to the point that he did not want to "look for ways to bless,".  Is there anything in our lives that has become  such a passion  that it is all we think about, look for, or concentrate on,  GIVING US SPIRITUAL CATARACTS so that we cannot see the needs of the people that surround us?

Story #2

My dad grew up in a small mining community in Northern Idaho.  It was called Burke Canyon.  The people that lived in Burke were a tight knit group.  They had an elementary school, but once they reached the 7th grade they were required to go to the big town of Wallace for school. 

My dad was always rather large for his age and had a protruding and sometimes terrifying Jaw.  His older brother, was always littler than he was.

Well, when my dad became old enough and started attending school in Wallace, it became quickly apparent that the big city kids liked to pick fights with the lowly Burke Canyon kids….and his brother Morgan was an easy target. 

Out of necessity, my dad learned to box and for several years protected the Burke Canyon kids.  Until the day he died he  had a fierce reputation with his classmates.  However, what was born of necessity soon became a passion.  HE WAS GOOD.  He had quick hands, superior strength, and a brilliant mind.  As his boxing skills developed so did his temper, he would fight at the drop of a hat, and always win.  He began entering competitions.  This carried through as he graduated from High school and enlisted in the Navy. 

One particular  day, after winning a boxing match, it dawned on him.  He loved to FIGHT.  He loved Hurting people.  And he realized that he had no other way of solving problems.  When something was wrong, the only way to fix it was to fight. 

His passion for fighting had tied his HANDS. What began as a compassionate act to protect became a passion that left very little room in his heart to love other people. 

Have we  ever limited our opportunities to help someone because of harsh words that quickly escaped our mouth, or quick judgments that blurred our vision? 

Now lest you think the story ends there, my dad's boxing career ended that day.  His heart softened, and shortly after, he joined the church.  And to further tutor him in COMPASSION, the  Lord sent him 6 daughters and NO SONS.  Boxing was never to be thought of again. 

  

Now the 3rd and final story:

When Spencer W. Kimball was the Prophet, a woman named Susan lived in his ward.  Susan was a wonderful seamstress.  One Sunday, Susan noticed that President Kimball  had a new suit. Her father had recently returned from a trip to New York and had brought her some exquisite silk fabric. Susan thought that fabric would make a handsome tie to go with President Kimball’s new suit. So on Monday she made the tie. She wrapped it in tissue paper and walked up the block to President Kimball’s home.

On her way to the front door, she suddenly stopped and thought, “Who am I to make a tie for the prophet? He probably has plenty of them.” Deciding she had made a mistake, she turned to leave.

Just then Sister Kimball opened the front door and said, “Oh, Susan!”

Stumbling all over herself, Susan said, “I saw President Kimball in his new suit on Sunday. Dad just brought me some silk from New York . . . and so I made him a tie.”

Before Susan could continue, Sister Kimball stopped her, took hold of her shoulders, and said: “Susan, never suppress a generous thought.”

Does our  PASSION  to not look foolish ever prevent us  from being kind?

 I have told 3 simple stories that illustrate the same principle.  And although food, anger, or pride may not be the things you and I struggle with, the principle is still the same.  We all have things that blurr our vision and tie our hands on a daily basis.  They are called PASSIONS.  When passions go unchecked, they squeeze out any room in our hearts to love and serve. 

So what do we do when we have a very human heart, that wants to be as kind and loving as the Savior's?

When talking to his son Shiblon, Alma gave him this timeless advice:  See that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; Alma 38:12 

This is a 2 party scripture.  The first party is us.  Bridling our passions requires some sort of action on our part. 

The second party is the Savior.  When we have acted, HE fills our heart with love. 

In short, we DON'T CHANGE OUR OWN HEART, WE ACT IN FAITH, AND THE SAVIOR CHANGES IT FOR US. 

For example:

Shortly after graduating from High School, I engaged in a conflict with one of my sisters that lasted for quite a while.  Each time the two of us were in the same room, I could do little to prevent myself from saying something that ignited a firestorm.  One day my dad and I were traveling to the airport and he began to question my motives for being so angry.  I explained the entire scenario to him, and after hearing the whole thing, I think he thought I had a case.  HOWEVER, he then gave me some great advice. 

"Kathryn, I know you are mad, but it isn't doing anything good for you.  "If you will stop saying it, you will stop feeling it." (Picture just like the scripture picture, me and then the Savior.)

I had to act, and THEN the Lord would change my heart.

You may remember this story from the April 2010 General Conference retold by Birshop Keith B. McMullin:

In Holland during World War II, the Casper ten Boom family used their home as a hiding place for those hunted by the Nazis. Four members of the family lost their lives for providing this refuge. Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie spent horrific months in the infamous Ravensbrück concentration camp. Betsie died there—Corrie survived.

In Ravensbrück, Corrie and Betsie learned that God helps us to forgive. Following the war, Corrie was determined to share this message. On one occasion, she had just spoken to a group of people in Germany.  Her message was “God forgives.”

A man approached her. She recognized him as one of the cruelest guards in the camp. “You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk,” he said. “I was a guard there. … But since that time, … I have become a Christian.” He extended his hand and asked, “Will you forgive me?”

“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

“… ‘Help me!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’

“… Woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. As I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart.’

“I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then.” 

If we would like the Savior to change our hearts, it is going require some action on our part.  And luckily for us, the Savior is mindful of even the smallest action. 

To close your mouth when you would really like to say something!

To open your mouth, when you would really NOT like to say something. 

To turn off the computer.

To walk away from the chocolate  aisle when we would really like to drown our sorrows in a 2 lb bag of M&M's. 

The list at this point should become personal. 

As the Lord is aware of our downfalls, He is also very aware of our successes.  And gratefully, He always keeps His promise.  If we ACT, bridle our passions, even in the smallest measure, he will "supply the feeling." 

If you made it to the end congratulations!  The power point that went with it was impressive too :)  Just because it showed  pictures of my dad!  Life is good!

These are The RULES

A few weeks ago I got released from  a GREAT calling and and I miss rubbing shoulders with great young adults.....But right now I have two callings in my ward.  I am the Primary Chorister (Yeah!) and I get to teach the 5th Sunday lesson to the Combined Priesthood and Relief Society class.  (Double Yeah!)  It has been a DELIGHTFUL calling and today did not prove to be any different.

The Subject = Bearing one anothers burdens!

In preparation for this lesson, I studied our baptismal covenants (Mosiah 18:8-9) and I saw it a little differently.  In verse 9 it asks if we are ready to make the promises that go along with baptism.  One of those promises is that we will BEAR ONE ANOTHER'S BURDENS.  I always thought that verse 9 was a nice little side note on the subject, but I realized that it was actually a carefully packaged definition of what it means to Bear One Another's Burdens.  As Follows:

Bear One Another's Burdens - willing to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, stand as a witness of God at all times.

So, as a class, we very carefully went through each part of the definition...starting with this request, "Please give me some unnoficial rules to mourning and comforting correctly." To say that my ward is on the older side may be a slight understatement.  Let's just say that there was plenty of experience in death, divorce, sickness, and just about anything else within those four walls. 

So the List of Rules went as Follows:
Just BE THERE.
Never Say "Let me know if you need anything."  Just do something.
Love them
Listen
Puffs Plus Kleenex with lotion is a great gift.
Never underestimate the power of a casserole
and the two we concentrated on the most.
Never use a person's time of need to TELL YOUR STORY!  ("I know just how you feel" is not the right path to go down.)
Never say "Isn't it great that we have the Gospel, this isn't a loss...." (Remember from the Bible Dictionary, The law of love deals with the ACTUAL FACTS of LIFE.)

The list went on.....but what happened AFTER the lesson was the funny part.  In our ward we have several people that "winter" down here but live in Utah and Idaho during the summer (can't say that I blame them).
After the lesson one of these winter couples approached my mom and I and we made several connections.  They are from Tetonia and the man coached at Teton high school.  He knew my dad well and pointing to my jaw said, "you look just like him." 

Well, we chatted for several minutes and then in parting, this brother said to my mom, "Well tell Joe Hello."  My mom quickly said, "he died two years ago." and thought to herself, We NEED TO ADD TO THE LIST OF RULES.

I am ONE of THEM!

You know who I am talking about.  She is the lady in the middle of the bleachers yelling at her child or the coach, or the children of the opposite coach.  Most of them have big hair and a fake fingernails.  And everyone around her is whispering, wondering why in the world she does not realize she is making a fool of herself.....she is clueless that anybody is even whispering, let alone that she is making a fool of herself. 

Yesterday as I sat at Ally's first Little League Basketball game, I realized (what I have probably known all along)  I AM THAT LADY (minus the big hair and fake fingernails).

Over the years we have been hesitant to enroll our kids in too many activities, okay ANY activities.  We wanted to have time for all of the important things and just didn't feel like it was needed.  However, as Ally entered the 3rd grade, I told Jared it was time....and then I started scheming. 

If she was going to be involved with something, it was going to be athletic (what in the world would I do with a dancer - can you say FOREIGN?)  And if she was going to be athletic, she was going to be good at it!  And if we were going to go to all that work, she was going to be ready to play ball in school, and if she was going to play in school, we should probably shoot for the state title ---Can you see where this was going? 

And the entire athletic career started YESTERDAY.  Ally and 4 little girls entered the court with JARED as their coach and the minute the whistle blew, MY MOUTH STARTED YELLING, and did NOT STOP FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR.  To be completely honest, most of the time I was not even aware that I was talking.....until I looked at the nice little families to the left and the right pointing at the children giggling at their innocence at the exact same time that I am yelling, "FOR HEAVEN SAKES ALLY GRAB THE BALL IT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" 

Well, if yesterday is an indication of her entire athletic career, it may be dismal for both of us.  The team lost 6 to 14 and I lost my mind....If the next time you see me with fake fingernails, reel me in, shake some sense in me, and tell me that PEOPLE ARE WHISPERING....

To Join the Debate or Not???

When I was in High School I begged my parents to join the debate team.  They said NO!  Seriously?  While some people are begging to go to late night parties, I am begging to join debate, I demanded a reason why! 

As I recall it, my mother said, "Kathryn, it will destroy your soul!"  She knew I would be GOOD and I knew I would have been GOOD....I have always been great at fighting (verbally and intellectually that is), but over the years I have tried my hardest to tame the inner need, and often I am reminded why!

Like today as I am driving to St. George, listening to Newt Gingrich's first "answer" of the night, and my heart starts pounding, my fists clench tightly around the steering wheel, and I start yelling at the radio (it made me feel better), but the more I yell, the more I become convinced that I have a POINT THAT NEEDS TO BE MADE, heard around the WORLD if possible.  So here I am 9:30 at night on the eve of the primary, blogging.  WORLD (nevadans, utahans, Idahoans, a few Washingtonians, Californians, 1 Nebraskan, and perhaps a Peruvian) Please hear what I have to say.

Know this first, I am not fighting for a candidate, I am fighting against a MAJOR OVERSIGHT!

Tonight I would like to give you my answer (in a round-about way) to the age old question of:  "Should Private Life be considered when electing a Public Official."

Perhaps I could start by asking another question. "What is it about our private life, that would prepare us for public office?" 

In our church, the kids sing a little song, which I adore, that talks about FAMILY.  One line ran through my mind, (okay actually I screamed it at the radio) as I listened to the debate today.  It goes as follows

God gave us FAMILIES to help us BECOME what HE wants us to be!

As Newt answered a question about his private life, I think this principal was lost in the dust of political savy. At one point after the "this is a despicable way to start a debate...." he said that this country has BIG problems and we have BIG ideas (I am quoting roughly, google is not cooperating right now).  

Once again I respond with a question:  Are there any LITTLE things that you learned in your personal life that could have benefited you while dealing with these BIG things?   



I am reminded of the boy that checked into my dad's Algebra 11 class and was checked out shortly thereafter when, his mother promised that he was ready, but he did not know his addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division facts. 

I think in the end we are bound to realize that the LITTLE things that we learn on the stage of our own home are the real lessons of life, and the BIG things are just an implementation of things we learned during each of those LITTLE moments. 

 If you want to be successful in ANYTHING, be successful in the MOST IMPORTANT thing!  Be a dad, Be a mother, be a father, be a wife, be loyal, be kind, discern between right and wrong AND DO IT, always protect the people you have been given charge over, be a leader.....Does any of this sound like good credentials to put on a Presidential Portfolio?  Lots of people can Talk the Talk but all is lost in a game of fancy words unless we walk (in our own hallways, living rooms, and kitchens) the WALK!