18 years ago.....

Some days my mom will call me and begin the phone conversation like this,  " you just never know what is going to happen when you wake up in the morning....."  Followed by some sort of news that nobody wants to hear.   Today (and it seems like an increasing amount of days) was one of those days.  Only, it wasn't my mom, it was my sister, and the news....news that nobody wants to hear.


I am a proud graduate of North Fremont High School.  Purple and Gold forever:).  There were (I believe) only 44 members in my class, thus making us quite unique.   More or less an extended family.  Most of us went to school with each other for 13 years straight....the few that moved in and out were remakable, and remembered, because not much happens in Ashton, ID:)

Next month will mark 18 years that we have been graduated.  In our Senior year, on a snowy January day we lost one of our own in a car accident.   Stephanie Palmer!  Oh we cried!  She was always a light and we loved her.   This winter I went home and attended a basketball practice where, sitting nearby I saw Stephanie's sister in-law, who she had never met.  As she was exiting the gym I quickly got up and introduced myself.  And briefly told her, " I was Stephanie's friend, she was a remarkable person, you are going to love getting to know her in the next life."  

In all of our crying sessions, I am not sure who we were crying for.  It must have been us, because the thought that we were crying for her seems unreal through the scope of time.

18 years has taken our little class and spread us throughout the country, with varying jobs and families and situations.....but every situation that I know of has been dealt a share of heart-ache.....somedays leaving us wondering, "did I really sign up for this?"

Today and as night closes in, heartache abounds for one of our own, and my heart is breaking for them as well. MaiKeli lost an 8 year old son.   3 years ago, at my own dad's viewing, I remember Keli walking through the line, giving me a great big hug, and wanting to talk, but couldn't as tears streamed down his cheeks........I have thought of that often over the last few years.  Simply his ability to mourn with those that mourn made all the difference to me.

I cannot count the number of times that I have heard the following, "why would God let that happen?"  And as life's experiences continually take me to my knees and to the scriptures looking for answers, I still don't know the answer to that question.  But I am becoming COMPLETELY SURE that the solution always lies with Him and Him alone.  There is only one place to turn, when happiness never again seems to be a possibility.

Where, when my aching grows,

Where, when I languish,

Where, in my need to know, where can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?

Who, who can understand?

He, only One.

Road trips to Bluebell!

Our Toyota Sienna has seen one too many long road trips as of late.  Once It had a gray shiny seats now the seats are gray and whatever color Ritz crackers + gray makes. (when somebody finds the perfect traveling treat for three year olds… Please let me know)… And I will give a reward to anyone who has the cure for the whining six-year-old who is constantly thirsty… I am a glutton for punishment if Long road trips bring us closer to family, then bring on the Ritz crackers.

This weekend we got to Take our Toyota sienna all the way to Bluebell, Utah, Jared's hometown.  Two of his nieces were talking in church.  Both decided on the day that President Monson made the big announcement (girls can now serve a mission at age 19 as opposed to 21) that they would be serving a mission!  In fact, I distinctly remember checking my Facebook that day to see Jessica say "I'M GOING ON A MISSION!"  And Cortney frantically searching for her mother (who was not near a phone) to tell her that she too was GOING ON A MISSION!

6 months later, we are here, with one shortly departing for Ohio and one for New York.   That in itself is amazing, but what I saw on Sunday was even more amazing.  There is a scripture that frequently runs through my mind it comes from the Doctrine and Covenants.  It gives me hope for Ally's future.  And on Sunday I saw manifested in two of her cousins.

LET VIRTUE GARNISH THY THOUGHTS UNCEASINGLY… Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God…

They were beautiful and so fun to listen to, but it went so much further than that.  Cortney showed such grace and True understanding.  Jessica has a depth of understanding in spiritual matters that she has paid a price for.  It was everything a mother could hope for!   And I know I am not their mom, but I would have been proud to be!  As they spoke I kept checking Ally to see if she was seeing the POSSIBILITIES!

Jared and I are both on the younger end when it comes to sibling order....That is proving to be a huge blessing for us and our kids!   We are watching and learning much!  Good luck Cortney and Jessica.  Remember, with virtue comes confidence!  You are well on your way!

Of Primary, Elmo, Obedience and Tinfoil!

I think I have just entered one of the funnest stages of life!  My kids are doing the best and funniest things, and I am enjoying every minute of it.  I am not sure what has changed, I am sure they have always been brilliant and funny, but something in me has relaxed just enough to see and enjoy.

Yesterday Jared told Daniel to go make his bed...Daniel is 2!  This was the result!  Yes, that is Elmo with a binki in his mouth :)

Two days ago I went to the Thrift Store with Joe (4). I let him buy a package of Spider-man Invitations.  When we got home he quickly opened them and asked me to read them.
I said,  "You're Invited to a party!"
He  immediately said, "YES!"  and then walking away he said, "I wonder which party it is?"

That was fun, but Joe did something amazing this week....I quote from my friend's blog  (she is the song leader in our Primary):

As the Jr. Primary children hurried into the primary room after sacrament meeting , I stood in front of the room  and sang songs, welcoming them in.  This is what I do every week. Little three year-old Lauren Hopkins was having a very hard time in Primary. Her mother, Larissa, sat beside her for a few minutes,  reassured  her, and then got up to leave. Lauren tried to suppress her tears, but it was more than her little heart could take and she began to sob.  I guess it was more than Larissa's heart could take as well, and  she went back and sat by Lauren.    Once again Larissa comforted Lauren,  and stood to leave. And  again, Lauren began to sob.  Larissa took courage and did what a mom needs to do sometimes; she did not go back to Lauren.  I quickly began singing  fun little action songs with the children in hopes that I could catch Lauren's attention and keep her from crying.  It didn't work.  Her crying increased, but I was so surprised by how still and reverent the rest of the children were.  They were softy singing as if to comfort  their little friend.  .  Then something amazing happened.  As we were quietly singing I watched four-year old Joseph Bolton reverently get up from his chair.  He walked behind where she was sitting and put his arm around her shoulders, while bending over to show her that it was him.  So calm. So sacred. So perfect.  As Lauren's cries began to subside,  Joe quietly returned back to his seat never saying a word.

Joseph has always had a tender heart...I hope I don't ruin it :)

The Bishop recently asked our family to study "Obedience and Sacrifice" for the next three months and then be willing to talk about what we had learned.  It has been really fun.  When we meet for Family Home Evening we come ready to study instead of present!  The other day we asked the kids to write in their journals what was hard about obedience.  Without Ally's permission I am sharing her's!  (because I think it is so cool..great insight for a 9 year old!)

And as a passing, closing thought, I thought I would share with you just how much tinfoil is on a small roll of Great Value Tinfoil.....Because at this point, Daniel, Autumn Whiting, and Jared and I may be the only ones that know :)

Tonight, there is a ward party!  Ward parties inevitably remind me of my dad.  He LOVED them.  He said that the first thing he did as a Bishop was call a great Activities Chairman (Nikki Reynolds:)  What he liked the most about ward parties was sitting at the end of one of those long tables and talking (potlucks scared him, the food was never the main event)....we always ended up sitting by the Christensen's, cause duh, they are REALLY fun to talk to!

This Thursday marked THREE years from the day that my dad died.  This blog has acted as my therapy, my memory recorder, and my link from him to my kids.  Silly words can never really convey the feeling you got when you were with him.  He made you feel important, smart, empowered, and humbled, all with a GLANCE.  Strangely enough, I still have those feelings in quite moments.....the thoughts will float through me, "I proud of you sweetheart,  I love you."  And, Yes, the kiss on the cheek and side squeeze around the waist is missing, but the feeling is still there.  More often than not, I know he is there.  Like I have said before, our little family is GRANDPA-less, but we are certainly not HOPE-less :)

Two weeks ago Sam was baptized by his dad!  I woke up that morning with a scripture on my mind, that stayed with me through the rest of the day:

"Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest." Doctrine and Covenants 84:20

So throughout the day, I watched, and watched, looking for how this first saving ordinance could be so life changing, so manifesting, of God's power. And in His perfectly organized fashion, I saw it!  The Priesthood of God has truly been restored to the Earth, and by its power, ordinances are performed that we may one day live with Him again!

Life is GREAT!  We have good kids, we have great parents, we are surrounded by the best people this world has to offer!  Pretty lucky we are!

Farewell!  It's time to curl my hair....there is a ward party tonight!

We have had a great week.  The last several months we have had several opportunities to be with family...which is always the best place to be.  Yesterday found us with Uncle Cory and Aunt Michelle and the gilrs in Las Vegas.

Michelle and I got to spend the day in the temple!  As we sat there, and I thought of how much I liked this family, a quote popped promptly into my head....all of those who know her will find it quite fitting!

Jared, Cory, and the kids went to Chuckee Cheese's and I am quite certain that Cory has forever branded himself with the title of FAVORITE UNCLE as he supplied them all with tokens and pizza :)  As we sat eating breakfast this morning, Gary said, "I love Uncle Cory, that was AWESOME!"

Breakfast seems to be the place to interject all sorts of great comments lately, I particularly enjoyed this one by Sam this week,  "hey guys, I read yesterday in the Book of Mormon about these evil people that think they are perfect enough to pray once a week." Sometimes things make perfect sense when seen through the eyes of an 8 year old :)

This week, I had another poem sitting on the fridge, begging to be memorized by the kids....soon they came to me one by one and had it memorized!  I thought the following picture was fitting for the poem!

And now it will be even cuter when you watch this :0

Life is Good!

Felt a tinge of Regret!

Every once in a while I put a poem or a scripture on the fridge and offer the kids a small reward if they memorize it.  Two days ago, I put up one of President Monson's (EVERYDAY I am more thankful to know that there is a Prophet!) favorites!

I have wept in the night

For the Shortness of sight

That to somebody's needs made me blind;

But I never have yet

Felt a tinge of Regret

For being a little too kind.  

I had already memorized the poem, but it kept running through my head, and then I started to wonder what  my regrets were, and then I started to make a list, and then.....The BLOG!  So, as a matter of full disclosure!  Here it goes!

*I REGRET that I didn't befriend Theresea in Grade school, to stand by and watch must surely be as bad as participating!

*I REGRET that I ever spent ONE minute watching Beverly Hills 90210 or 7th Heaven....Don't Judge!

*I REGRET not reading my scriptures enough in college thus preventing untold STUPIDITY!

*I REGRET not keeping better track of my High School Friends.

*I REGRET not getting to know my Grandma Foster better.  The more I know of her, the more I want to be like her!

* I REGRET ever sitting on the couch while my mom was working (granted, I never would have sat on the couch, but I would have been a better person for it).

* I REGRET not taking cooking classes in College!

* I REGRET yelling at the Firth Volleyball Coach, and receiving a yellow card (yes, two separate incidents).

*I REGRET not doing Family History while I was single and had a bit more time.

*I REGRET buying light tan carpet....I regret CARPET!

*I REGRET not going to the temple AT LEAST once a week while I lived in the same town!

*I REGRET not SINGING OUT (for fear of embarrassment) when I had my solo in DARN YANKEES!

* I REGRET losing THREE MONTHS of my life in LA-LA Land (otherwise known as engagement)!

*I REGRET not keeping better track of my Bolton nieces and nephews!  That is changing!

*I REGRET bemoaning one SINGLE second of my life due to my SINGLE STATUS in college, and hanging out mindlessly... When I could have been devouring C.S. Lewis, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, David McCullough....

*I REGRET that when the cute girl on the plane ride to Alabama asked me why I was reading the Book of Mormon, and what it was, that I didn't ANSWER right and Testify, and possibly change her life FOREVER!

*I REGRET treating each pregnancy like a 9 month All You Can Eat Buffet!

* I REGRET not getting to know Allison Batt and Jenn Derr better at Utah State

*Finally, I REGRET ever holding a grudge, prejudging, or saying a mean word to my sisters :) (and everyone else:)

So I've Been Thinking....2/24/13

This week my Sam turned 8!  That is a special birthday for us....next Saturday is his baptism!  All are invited!  When our kids turn eight we give them a journal and encourage them to start writing!  This was Sam's first entry:

He is a kid of MANY talents....his intellectual ability will surpass mine within about 3 years I am quite sure of it, and I will no longer be able to teach him piano lessons in probably 2.  He is a JOY in our home.  Sometimes I catch myself staring at his JAW and the way his hair lays flat and curls in this one particular point and I SEE his Grandpa FOSTER, and then I cry!  We will be taught by him, that is for sure!

This week was also the last week of basketball.  It has been a year full of sports for us this year, and our kids have learned some great things from it, but next year will not be quite the same, sports will be limited.  I found myself getting SO IRRITABLE when I had to drive up to the Fairgrounds 5 times a week, WISHING for some more time at home, and realizing we were rushing through FAMILY to get to the COURT.  It simply was not worth it for me.  My kids will never be PROFESSIONAL anythings :)  I am okay with that.  I want them to be good at being a family.  I won't be okay with myself if I let that opportunity slip away sitting on the sidelines!

Last night Jared and I went to the Adult Session of Stake Conference.  This is one of the BEST meetings all year long!  I find myself receiving specific inspiration as LOCAL LEADERS talk.  Once again I am reminded of the TRUST and RESPECT the LORD has for local leaders!  Brother Leavitt (the Stk. Young Men's President's) talk was GENIUS!  He framed the programs of the Church (Faith in God, Personal Progress....) as gifts to our family.  President Frehner's talk was DIRECT and AWESOME!   I love it when people can talk principles without fearing personal backlash (once again, it reminded me of Joe!)

We are so EXCITED for the upcoming week!  An Aunt, Cousins, Grandmas, and a Baptism....how could life get any better :)

P.S.  This week I got to go to Smart and Final and Business Costco, Shopping, All by myself....my life is complete!