It is FRIDAY!

Dear Emi,

It is exactly 1:30 on a Friday afternoon.  And with a great sigh of relief I am here to report that the first week of school has been survived - ISH. (One night I was taking Holly Rust home from babysitting my children.  I turned to her and asked if she got the kids in bed alright.  She said, "um....ish."  Meaning, "it wasn't alright, but it happened."  Which pretty much describes 98.5% of my life :)

I remember Friday school nights when I was growing up.  Mom and dad usually headed to the temple, which left my sisters and I at home, to entertain ourselves with old 80's music, the tv, and things really got interesting when our neighbor's nephew, Tad, was around.  (We were all the definition of HOMEBODY.  Not because it was the cool thing to do...just because we had a lot more fun with each other than anyone else.)  Eventually, the parents would wind into the driveway bearing bags and bags of groceries from Broulims.  (Yes spellchecker, Broulims is a real word).  We would all unload the groceries and find ourselves feasting on bananas and Brach's candy....whatever happened to real Brach's candy!

When I was in college it was a little tougher to be a homebody, but more often than not, I would find myself leaving Logan, and driving to my sister's in Smithfield.  At which point Brynne and I would settle down for a nice night of CORY and TOPANGA :)  (Boy meets World, which rivals Saved by the Bell for the most ridiculous sitcom ever created.)

A few years ago I was visiting Logandale 5th ward (?) and Bishop Barlow was talking about having good family traditions.  He had his young daughter (who just graduated from high school last year) get up and tell the congregation about "Friday Fun Night."  She said that every Friday when her dad got home from work the family would pick a fun activity to do TOGETHER.

I went home and told Jared that Friday Fun Night was being instituted immediately.  And so it has, for the last 5 years, been our stolen tradition.  It usually includes some yummy food (pizza, crepes, or anything you can eat with chopsticks!) and a yummy treat (orange chicken and somoa bars are on the menu tonight :0  Then we watch a movie, and let our kids fall asleep on the couch.  :)  It doesn't sound like much....but when Joe (the 3 year old) runs into your room at 6:30 a.m. and announces (waking up the rest of the house)  MoM!  It's Friday Fun Night....you know it is more than just ish!

Emi - Be happy!  You can make it through another day!  Friday is on its way :)

Love, Your Grandma, who can't wait for your Grandpa, and the bus to get home!

P.S.   This week we celebrated your Great Grandpa Bolton's 72nd Birthday.  We ate spaghetti for dinner :0 Every time we visited Bluebell, I would wake up to your Great Grandpa sitting at the head of the table enjoying a Large bowl of Spaghetti (at 6 in the a.m.)  Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Dear Emi,

To say that this mornings routine was interrupted by one very grouchy child, would be understating the entire affair.  Knowing that the unnamed child was tired and adjusting to a new school schedule, I tried to be kind and patient...and then kind and patient...and then I tried to just be quiet because Patient and Kind were quickly leaving the scene.

Finally it was time to walk to the bus stop.  As we walked, and got closer and closer to his peers, his demeanor seemed to MAGICALLY change.  At first I was relieved, and then I was MAD.  As the bus drove up the street I said my last goodbyes and I love you's and then I turned to him and said, "Please try to be nice happy at school, not like this morning."  With utter disdain he turned to me and said, "Ugh!  Mom, I always act nice at school!"

He obviously missed Grandma Foster's Family Home Evening at Bear Lake this year when she taught us about being kind to our FAMILY members.  Saying over and over, "Be NICER to your FAMILY than you are to your FRIENDS"  (which is not an excuse to start treating your friends badly).

Whenever I see people treating their family badly I think of a quote from one of C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, said the expert devil to the devil in training, "The great thing is to direct the malice to his IMMEDIATE NEIGHBORS whom he meets every day and to thrust his benevolence out to the remote circumference, to people he does not know.  The malice thus becomes wholly real and the benevolence largely imaginary.

 And no, I am not going to start quoting C.S. Lewis to my 7 year old, but I might quote his grandpa     It reminds me of the times I heard him teach the church lessons on "love thy neighbor."  He would ask, "who is your neighbor?"  The class, with a sense of pride, would say, "EVERYONE."  In turn he would say, "That is a sad excuse.  It does little good for your character to feed the children in Ethiopia when you can't even help the people you live by."

Emi, mind your grandma and be nicer to your family than you are to your friends.

Love, your Grandma, who is currently planning and early night for a 7 year old.

P.S.  Miss Maudie, Atticus Finch's neighbor once said of him.  'Atticus Finch is the same in his house as he is on the public streets.'  Today (and most days) Atticus is my hero!

Dear Emi,

The first day of school has been conquered and EXHAUSTION is the end result.  However, it did not go exactly how it had been planned.  In my minds eye, I pictured a day where I finally regained composure and started on that To-Do list that turned into a BOOK over the summer.  Yet, as I looked at the clock just in time to run and pick Gary up from the Kindergarten bus, I glanced at the sink full of dishes  and realized that I had not even accomplished the basics and my BOOK gained another unexpected chapter.

 I have been losing my grip over the last month.  Three cardinal sins have been committed in a matter of 2 weeks.  FIRST, I opened my pantry to find that there was not one drop of KETCHUP left in the entire house.  What kind of mother am I?  No Ketchup.  So I call Jared in Vegas and send him to the store.  To my UTTER DISMAY he returns with a bag full of KROGER ketchup.  REALLY?  To my knowledge, there is only ONE kind of ketchup and it is spelled HEINZ...what kind of name is KROGER anyway.......SECOND, the bathroom closet contains NO MORE deodorant.  (Yes I realize that this is worse than ketchup, but not worse than KROGER ketchup).  FINALLY, my BENNY card has been SUSPENDED (Insurance is never EASY)!

So what did I do....I woke up this morning, went on a run, read my scriptures, and PRAYED really hard that I could get it together.  On my run, I listened to a conversation between Sherri L. Dew and Elder Cook.  Sister Dew posed this question....."There are some today that feel like life is almost becoming nerve racking....what is your counsel?"  Elder Cook's response, "I just feel exactly the opposite!  I don't think there is anything more significant that we feel joy and we rejoice in the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

Now I realize that Sister Dew wasn't talking about ketchup and deodorant....But Elder Cook was talking to me.  I have much to be happy about!  And the To-Do Book can wait....until tomorrow :)

Be Happy Emi!  You know how this all turns out :)

Love,
Your Grandma, who is currently learning to cope with bad ketchup

P.S.  Did you know that your clothes dry quicker if you shake them out before you put them in the dryer...it is Physics!  Ask Grandpa Foster about it before your journey begins :)

Dear Emi

Dear Emi,

This is the beginning of multitudes of letters and file cabinets full of advice - STORE them.  One day you will find them worthy of your perusing.  This is also the beginning of my blog, taking a new direction.  You see, your Great Aunts (#2 and #3 in particular :) told me that I can be a little preachy when I provide the world with my sentiments.  So, I thought I would provide it in a different way.

My sentiments were always meant for my children and their children.  And Yes!  I was always preaching to you, it is my job. (And this way, not even the grave will deprive me of my favorite pastime:).  As for the rest of virtual world, lucky for them, they were not born into the "clan"  so they can choose to enjoy the journey of young motherhood or not.  No guilt, no offense, no strings, to them , just sentiments.  To you, WISDOM...consider it carefully!

Why Emi?  Well, we were only blessed with one girl.  We named her Ally, simply because we wanted to leave the hospital with a name.  For months, her name was considered.  I wanted Emma, Cory, anything with a little depth, meaning and history.  Jared wanted Ally.....Ally it was.  (It seemed to be a moment of weakness on my part, after all, I had just endured 23 hours of labor and had never known the meaning of TIRED until that moment).  However, in the long run, it all works out.  I kept reminding Jared that he got to name the first one and all following (Sam, Gary, Joseph, Daniel) have been named by Yours Truly :)  It wasn't until recently that I fell in love with a girl's name.....Emi.....but the children have all been named, and Ally seems to be content with her title, so we will look to the next generation.  Emi!  It is!

Tomorrow we start school.  Ally is a 4th grader, Sam a 2nd grader, and Gary a kindergartner.  I never sleep the night before school starts.  Not  when I was in school, and especially not NOW!  The world seems to rest on my ability to meet nutritional, emotional, and "perfect first day outfit" needs.  Talk about stress.

It is times like these that I want to absorb myself in some sort distraction.  Anything crafty would do, or physical (hours at the gym-never sounded like a break until now) or even intellectual.  A full day with a good book could erase all of my worries.  But I can't...because I have serious guilt issues.

Sister Beck came to your Aunt JoDee's stake several years ago to talk to the Relief Society sisters and engaged them in a session  of question and answer.  According to your Aunt's account, a tired young mom got up and asked a forgettable question, but Sister Beck's response has been burnt into my mind......"Just remember, young motherhood is where it is at.  It is the time that you learn about the God's purposes for the family, or you learn to be distracted."

Emi, don't get distracted!

Love, Your sleepless Grandma!

P.S.  Last night I browsed through a book..."Dear Me"  where actors wrote letters to their 16 year-old selves?  Do you know what I learned?  You can actually be dumber at 65 than 16.

A Note of Disclosure

Politics stirs something inside of me.  I can be having a completely normal day with an adequate amount of self control weighing in my balance, and then it happens....I hear the news, my heart starts to race (literally), my throat tightens and the WAR begins.

My grown-up, more restrained (don't laugh) self goes into battle against my Senior in high school self who sat directly in the middle of Mr. Issac's government class, just waiting for the teacher, classmate to say ANYTHING that could possibly turn into a debate.  I LOVED a GOOD debate.  But times have changed, and debating only leaves me with a pit in the bottom of my stomach.  I consider it sheer DIVINE INTERVENTION that Facebook was not invented during my teenage years.   Now only Mr. Issac's class and a few others get to remember me that way :)

However, because the issues have been occupying a lot of my thoughts as of late (and this blog is supposed to be about my thoughts) I thought it would only be appropriate for me to disclose who I am voting for......WAIT FOR IT........I know you will never guess.........Romney and Ryan (that has a nice ring to it :)

As of late, that stirring that I referred to earlier has been more frequent.  I like Romney, and when someone insults him, I take it PERSONALLY.  It reminds me of that quote in "You've Got Mail" when Joe Fox is trying to explain to Kathleen Kelley that what he did wasn't personal and in desperation she says, "What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?" (this is my favorite quote)


I find ANYTHING "Mitt Romney" becoming personal to me.  I think it is very hard to separate Mitt Romney from Mormonism.  And  "I Belong to the Church of Jesus Christ..." When he first started the campaign process, I watched with very critical eyes, looking for a flaw that would find him straying from the standards that Mormons hold dear.  Surely it would come.....he is a politician isn't he?  I have been watching now for over 4 years and my view has not been tainted.  He is a man who holds steadfastly to values.

Here comes the personal part.  Those values, just happen to be the SAME ones I believe in.  I have always wanted someone to ask me this question, "What defines you most as a person?"  Without hesitation....my belief in Jesus Christ and my knowledge that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is His living and true church upon the earth.  


So when anything Mitt Romney is mentioned Mormonism also rings in the air...and then it personal. And what is so wrong with being personal anyway :)  I have never met him.....seen him, but I feel like I know him, because it is personal.  


Now lest you think I have based my voting opinions on his religion alone, I have one more thing to disclose :)  As much as I love members of my own church, I LOVE AMERICA and its future more.  My like for Mitt Romney is PERSONAL, my vote for MItt Romney is Political.  Political in the very purest sense.  Electing someone to Govern and not dictate, inspire not bind, and someone who will once again, let the bells of freedom ring.  Remember....."He died to make men holy, Let us Live to Make Men FREE."  


My soapbox has ended, the stirring has died down, now I will go make some cookies :)

When Life Hangs in the Balance

Today, Jared's Dad passed away.  On Saturday night we received that dreaded phone call....the one that everyone will receive at some point...and just by the sound of the voice on the other end, you know that something Life-Altering has happened, and so you wait and during each long pause you try to build up the courage to TAKE IT...and then you crumble.

Jared's dad was in an accident.  He was found badly wounded, lying in the middle of a forest road, with his horse standing as sentinel.  Nobody knows what happened, where it happened, or when it happened.  Now we will never know.  He was life-lighted to IHC in Murry, UT and placed in intensive care for head and brain trauma.  The next 3 days would prove to be even more life-altering.

If death is ANYTHING, I have found it to be the ultimate teacher.....Tonight I would like to tell you what I have learned this week....

Waiting Rooms (in situations like these) are Hallowed Ground.  They are where families struggle through something hard and ugly and come through it TOGETHER.  The outcome is not always what you would have chosen, but those who lived through the process learn to love those who were willing to live through it with them.     REAL family ties are created in hospital waiting rooms.

When death is near, emotions are as well, and we find ourselves doing things we would not normally do...
Like raiding the closest neighborhood block party when the smell of steak overwhelmingly overpowers the thought of going back to the waiting room to the same Costco cookies that have been there to greet you for the last 24 hours.  (It was one thing to raid the party.....but did they not have enough steak to bring back and share with the rest of us :)  I will never look at Costco cookies the same again.

There are two dimensions in every hospital room.  The first attacks you as you enter the door to see a loved one buried under tubes and machines........this physical dimension is overloaded with charts, beeps, numbers (oh the numbers), scans, monitors....And as you quietly let it all sink in, the second dimension works its way into the picture, it probably starts with silent pleading prayers, transforms into your "gut feelings,"  and ends with peace.....peace that drowns out the numbers, the beeps, the tests.  

When death is near, there are those who would like to be in the "waiting room", but it is simply not an option, so you appoint a messenger of sorts.  Someone who will relay the details. It is best to appoint a WOMAN to this job.  When men attempt to do it....It starts with very few details and ends with even fewer,  but we love Trent :)  because he is always willing to make the CONTACT.

When life hangs in the balance heaven, ever so softly, touches the earth.  And while heaven and earth play their game of tug of war, each trying to tip the scale, there will come a MOMENT.  And in this one moment it becomes absolutely clear that a wise Father in Heaven is holding the scales.  He sees more, He knows more, He will make the final call, and it will be the right one.  

I love Jared's parents, THEY GAVE ME JARED.  I am eternally indebted to them for their willingness to raise a righteous family, who would one day become my own. Tonight Death has taught me once again, that Eternity, Together Forever, is our only option.  The Savior our only Hope.  And FAMILY our greatest ANCHOR.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished!

I have a friend named Jen!  We were Aggies together!  In fact, the first time I remember seeing her was at an Elementary Education Major Meeting.  Everyone was introducing themselves, I remember her standing up, saying her name, and then  all of a sudden we were signing up for clubs with each other.  (Which is really amazing, because I really don't do CLUBS and I am not big on strangers.)  But Jen never felt like a stranger to me, and this week I saw her after 10 long years.  She still didn't feel like a stranger.  No awkward pauses, no gap in time.  I think you know how good a friend is when you can pick up right where you left off, be it 10 years or 2 hours ago.

We have a lot of history in the short couple of years that we knew each other (it was short because she INSISTED on marrying Brad, which I have to admit NOW was a good idea.  At the time, I didn't think it was a very good idea, simply because she left me to deal with singlehood alone.)  I remember as we pulled out of her parents driveway to visit Las Vegas for Spring Break, her mom rushed out with a roll of quarters for both of us.  (Believe me when I say that I have never felt so close to the edge :)  Or the time that I got to use one of their season tickets to the Jazz game and sit right behind Karl Malone and use the same bathroom as John Stockton's wife.  Especially the time when we sat in our Professor's office, wondering why I got a B+ and Jen got an A-.  And the response,  pointing at me "You got a B+ because you deserved it, and Jen, you got an A- because you are friends with her." pointing at me again.....

The friendship was really one sided as you can tell.  Jen did a lot more for me than I could have done for her. I think the one reason I love Jen so much is because, during a time of SELF-ABSORPTION (otherwise known as college) she took a great interest in my life, and my family -What made me - ME!  She still does, she could remember each of my sister's names, where they were, details of their kids, and we talked in length about my parents.  I hope I  can be the same way.

Well, we chatted and ate, and chatted, then when I knew Jared would be waiting for me (we were staying in a hotel in Henderson because Jared had a week long meeting and we came to join him) I rushed home, pulled in the parking spot as quickly as possible, and hurried to get the kids in bed.

In my rush, I pulled into a Handicapped parking spot (totally on accident, I never would have done it, had I realized what I was doing).  After a long night of Daniel screaming for hours on end, I decided to end our little vacation early, do the grocery shopping, and head home.  When we had packed up and headed to the car, we were greeted by a nice pink ticket.

352 DOLLARS for parking in a handicap parking spot.

ARE YOU SERIOUS HENDERSON?  352 dollars?  You are killing.  So from that point on, I want to THROW UP.  But I still have to go to Winco, Costco, Wal Mart, ParTy City, and DSW.  But.....I want to throw up, and I have had 3 very small hours of sleep to go on.

We made it to Winco and I can tell that I am going to lose it.  Every little move that my 5 children made seemed punishable with prison time at this point.  I was trying to be the good mom, but my tongue was on the verge of doing things that, very quickly I would regret.

There is a quote that goes through my head at times like these.  It is from Elder Holland, talking about how Joseph Smith reacted to all of his trials.


It has always been a wonderful testimony to me of the Prophet Joseph’s greatness and the greatness of all of our prophets, including and especially the Savior of the world in His magnificence, that in the midst of such distress and difficulty they could remain calm and patient, charitable and forgiving—that they could even talk that way, let alone live that way. But they could, and they did. They remembered their covenants, they disciplined themselves, and they knew that we must live the gospel at all times, not just when it is convenient and not just when things are going well. Indeed, they knew that the real test of our faith and our Christian discipleship is when things are not going smoothly. That is when we get to see what we’re made of and how strong our commitment to the gospel really is.


So what did I do?  I paid for my groceries, got in the car, got on the Freeway, and headed home.  I knew that it was time to cut my losses before I LOST it all together.  And if I were thinking correctly, the real question, at the time, would have been.....WHO ON EARTH HAS MONEY TO SHOP, WHEN THEY JUST RECEIVED AT $352 PARKING TICKET?????/