Life is Good!

I just wanted to drop a quick note.  Life is Good.  I have spent the last two days listening to prophets of God!  Life is Good. 

I know with all of my heart that God lives!  He loves me and directs my life in a very personal way.  I know that His voice is still heard today.  It did not cease in Biblical times.  He has called prophets and apostles that direct the work of His church upon the earth today.  And I know that he directs my life through the whisperings of the Spirit. 

It gives me hope.....each of my children can have a direct link to heaven.....we can be safe in an ever darkening world.  Don't read my blog.....Listen to this:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2012/04?lang=eng&vid=1540737917001&cid=12

or this:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2012/04?lang=eng&vid=1541950013001&cid=4

or this:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2012/04?lang=eng&vid=1541950015001&cid=5


Enjoy!  Life is good!

I lost that A LONG TIME AGO!

Yes, those are two police cars, and Yes, that is the view from the front of my house.  And as they drove away, my friend (more like Emergency Life Vest) says to me...."Well Kathryn, at least all you lost today was $45 and YOUR PRIDE."  To which I said, "Well then, I only lost $45, because I lost my pride A LONG TIME AGO."

Let's start at the beginning. I have had an obsession with Cake Balls lately, and Daniel (my 1.5 year old) has had an obsession with opening the oven as I am cooking the cake balls...So there was a Carrot cake in the oven (it was going to make beautiful cake pops when combined with cream cheese frosting), I had 5 minutes before the buzzer rang to hang out the laundry.  On the way out I say, "Joseph, lock the door behind me so that Daniel doesn't come out."

Joseph dutifully locked the door....and seconds later I hear he and his brother (Gary) sneak out the laundry room door to go ride bikes.  At that moment panic set in...I already knew as I ran around checking each door, that we were locked out....And Daniel (the 1.5 year old with the oven obsession) is on the inside ALONE with a hot oven and a timer going off.

I grab the cell phone in my pocket and call Carol.  Within minutes the locksmith was called, and Carol (Emergency vest #1) and Ann Marie (Emergency vest #2) were at the house.  Carol had the duty of making sure Daniel stayed by the window and did not stray to the oven.  Meanwhile Ann Marie was trying to break into every door with all of her credit cards (apparently she has experience...and she is good) but don't worry, our perimeter is secure and each door is impenetrable. 

After 15 minutes and no locksmith, we call the non-emergency number to the police.  They send an officer right over.  I explain the situation and he says, "Well - I can get in, but I am going to have to break something."  AGHHHHHHHHHH!

Luckily at that moment the locksmith rounds the corner.  However, 20 minutes later it appears that not even the locksmith can open our doors.  During those 20 minutes one officer was with Carol talking to Daniel through the window, trying to get him to open the laundry room door.  The other officer was checking each window and trying his hand at Ann Marie's credit cards. 

Finally the policemen had formed a plan to break in with the least amount of damage.  While the locksmith informed us that he was just going to break one of the locks - which ended up being the least amount of damage. 

The door was OPEN.  I grabbed Daniel and the cake, and after almost an hour of trauma, we were all still alive (except for the cake).  The $45 to the locksmith was paid while the policemen were sounded their sirens for ALL of the neighborhood children (because ALL of the neighborhood was watching at this point). 

The policemen were AWESOME.  They were so kind and helpful.  They have experience in this kind of thing.  You see, the same two policemen were at Ann Marie's 2 weeks ago (?) because her daughter called 911.  Oh, and, they were at Carol's 2 weeks before that, because her daughter called 911.  But, they were GREAT to all of us and joked that they would see us soon.  I appreciated everything they said and did, but I hope I don't see them again at my house! 

You Do What You Do When You Got What You Got!

So my family has a saying, "You do what you do when you got what you got."  The founder of the statement is up for debate (my brother-in-law Shannon and my Mother both claim it's origin).  Wherever it came from, I recommend that every mother have it in her mental "saying box."  It comes in handy on a daily basis.
When a visitor comes and asks for a Kleenex and your child runs and gets Toilet Paper -You do what you do when you got what you got (Kleenex is highly over-rated).

When you can't make it to the family function hours away because the thought of a car ride about kills you - You do what you do when you got what you got

When Dinner consists of opening cans after a busy day - You do what you do when you got what you got

When you take Chips Ahoy to the Ward Function and eat everybody else's food - You do what you do when you got what you got

Say it with me -You do what you do when you got what you got - These 11 words can cure any guilt that you may have at the thought of the MILES and MILES that separate you and Martha Stewart. 


Today I had the PERFECT "do what you do when you got what you got" moment.  I would love to share at the risk of being ridiculed by my 5 "mostly Martha" sisters. 

This week is Dress up week for Ally and Sam.  That is fine, but I just have one question - what happened to Crazy Hair Day, Pajama Day, Wear Blue Day?  This year we had "Dress in your favorite Decade Day" (I have been trying to explain what a decade is to my kids for 3 days now), "Dress as your favorite Book Character Day" and "Dress as a Historical Figure Day."  Are you serious, I have a hard time finding the blue outfit. 

Today just happened to be the Historical Figure day - instead of panicking or taking a trip to St. George, or staying up all night sewing, I said to myself, "Well, You do what you do when you got what you got."  So I went to Ally's closet, and found a cowboy hat.  The rest of the outfit fell into place and she is Annie Oakley - Yes, I am perfectly aware that some consider Annie Oakley to be fictional - so today we are representing the historical fiction part of society.

Sam's closet was lacking in props, UNTIL I found the dog and monkey leash that I use when I am alone with all 5 children and all of the old people stare and consider calling child services.  (I am just saying, a leashed child is better than a lost child). 

So What do I do?  I GOOGLE.  "Famous zoologists" to be exact.  Today Sam is dressed as Elie Metchnikoff.  Yes, I am aware that he is Russian, I am aware that Sam cannot pronounce his name, nor does he even know what a zoologist is.  But he was thrilled to have a mustache for a day, and hey, You do what you do when you got what you got!

Another Lecture?

It is Working!!!!!!  I can rarely say those words, so I thought I would start off by saying one more time - It is Working!!!!!

Every morning when Ally and Sam leave the house I kiss them goodbye, tell them that I love them, and then I open the door.....the minute I see them hit the road (without me) I have a bit of a melt-down.  Do you have any idea how many different things could go wrong in the course of a day?  There are kidnappers, kids teasing them on the playground, them teasing kids on the playground, broken bones, dirty pictures, dirty jokes, dirty people + a million more.  I should know because every morning as I watch them walk away they run through my mind, leaving me a little hopeless. 

So in my anxiety I yell to them as they are marching away, "I love you!  Be good!"  At that point I still want to yank them back inside and keep them from ever leaving again, but I know that isn't the right choice, so I yell out in complete desperation, "Listen to the Spirit."  (I know..you are picturing what this looks like...and I know the picture isn't pretty - I'm okay with that, as long as they listen, I'm okay with that).

What else could I say that would be the solution to every situation that they might face?   But then the question arises in my mind....Have I taught them how to listen to the Spirit?

This is what I have been working on for, what seems like months, and we are making some progress.  It all started with listening to this, a converstaion  with Elder Bednar and his wife!  I realized that instead of lecturing my kids (which I am awesome at), I needed to start helping them find answers to their questions and solutions to their problems by listening to the Spirit (which I am not so awesome at), and then to ACT. 

A few days ago at the dinner table Ally uneviled for us a problem on the bus.  (The school bus is the bane of my existence).  Well, as soon as she explained it to me, I knew what the solution was. (Afterall, we have been having the exact same problem for 3 years now, and I have told her the solution probably 100 times).   But, with all of my might, I bit my tongue and waited.  The only words I said were, "So Ally, what do you think you should do?"  No resposne.  So I waited some more.  And FINALLY as we were doing the dishes she says to me, "Mom, I think if I stayed busy on the bus, that wouldn't happen to me anymore."

Really?  She acted like it was her own idea, and she was so proud of herself (remember the 100 lectures that I had already given?  That was the lecture.)  But if it worked, I was willing to let her think it was her own idea. 

I would just like to report that the last 3 days have been problem free (on the bus anyway) because she has been following her own advice!  And because it was her own advice (inspired by the Spirit), everyday she believes it more and more.  It is working!

 

"It is my TIME of LIFE!"

Elder Holland gave a talk that I find relates to my life at least DAILY.  Today, these words came floating through my subconscious as I think about my weekend's experience:

"There are little cliches that we learn early in our lives. Most of them I hate; some of them I really hate. I think number one on my list is "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." I hate that. I'll take sticks and stones any day. But second to that are the cliches "Ignorance is bliss" and "What I don't know won't hurt me." Let me say to you with all of the intensity that I have that nothing will hurt you more than what you don't know." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I hate most of them too!  (The one I HATE the very most is "All's well that end's well."  There is very little truth in that very poorly worded sentence.)  But today I speak of a cliche that perhaps will strike members of the church I belong to more than others....because we say it...and we say it A LOT! 

"It is just not my time of life,"  flows freely though the hall of every Relief Society room.  It usually pertains to one of two things.  #1- Quilting or #2 - Family History!  It is said by the busy young mother who wishes away her life so she could have time to do other things. 

In the case of quilting.......let's just say that I don't dream of filling my days with endless quilting!  My mother who always ends up finishing or rescuing the project, doesn't dream of it either.

In the case of Family History, it simply is not true.  There is not one right time of life to do family history.   

If you didn't know already, our church is BIG on Family History.  We know what a pedigree chart looks like and what the word genealogy means by age 5.  We search out our ancestors for many reasons.  Our main goal is to take their names to Temples of God and unite them to their Families Forever! 

Many older people have time to do hours and hours of research and take trip after trip to the temple!  I DO NOT!  I struggle to find time to brush my teeth some days.  So we say to ease our conscience, "It is not my time of life," and cross 'family history' off of our to-do lists for the next 10 years.  I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I think there is more than one way to do family history and only certain ways are appropriate at certain times of life. 

Right now I can make it to the temple once a month, but I feel absolutely NO guilt that I do not make it to the temple each week. (I am sure when my family is at the right stage and I am able, the motivating guilt will magically appear).  Conversely, I would be plagued with guilt if I left my 5 children day after day to save their ancestors.  Family history would be a bleak subject if people didn't take care of the Family Present. 

This month will mark the 2 year anniversary of my dad's death.  I have learned one thing in those 2 years, again and again.  We are all in this together, the living, the dead, and those to come. 

This Saturday we ventured to St. Thomas.  A little town on the edge of Lake Mead that was evacuated so that the Lake could exist.  Since then, the waters have receded and the foundations of that little city is once again visible.  As I walked through the remains and saw foundation after foundation and bits of the history laying on the ground.  This thought came to me.  "If this is all we come for, to build a house, have a job, and survive, until it is all over -- it is a cruel joke!  There has to be something more!" 

There was something more.  Sitting by the foundations were the descendants of these people with pictures of their ancestors, and a twinkle in their eye when the claimed them as family.  Family History means Saving Families and there are about a million things I can do RIGHT NOW, at this time of my life, to save Families!

Family is a WORK of FAITH

I admit it!  I am an occasional facebook stalker, actually, I am really more of a people stalker.  (I wrote that in hopes of adding a bit of credibility not creepiness).  Let me explain.  My dad loved to go shopping with us.  However, he did very little shopping.  He would take us to the mall and then find a comfortable bench and OBSERVE.  When we finished shopping, we would go and find him.  By that time, he had found a family to watch and had figured out their entire story.  We would sit down and he would recount his observations and assumptions to us.  It was quite entertaining, and I adopted the habit. 

When Jared and I go out to eat, I find  myself listening to the people in the next booth or reading lips from across the room.  People fascinate me!  So when I check my facebook, every once in a while I get lost in looking at friends of friends and strangers alike...Tyring to figure out their story.

This weekend I happened upon a stranger who I felt great empathy for.  And although she will probably never read this post, it is for her!   She had just had her first baby, and was feeling a little EMPTY as a result of going from a profession to full-time motherhood.  It was obvious that she loved her baby, but she just wasn't sure she loved everything else.  To say the least, I could relate. 

Ally, my firstborn and only girl, was born in the year 2003.  I had her on May 26th.  That day I ended a 5 year teaching career.  Those five years were filled with success, sharp looking business suits, awards, and many opportunities.

As the nurse placed her in my arms, I had, as I have with all of my children, the distinct impression that only God could have created something so entirely perfect.   About a month later I remember being in the car with Jared and the tears started to come...."I hate my life.  My mind is dying.  And I am tired."  There were no more business suits (who could fit into them anyway), definitely no recognition, and  I thought that all of my opportunities had died.   But over the last 8 years, I have been patiently tutored by a Loving Heavenly Father to really figure out what life is all about.  Let me explain. 

When I held her in my arms I knew that Heavenly Father had given me a great gift.  But after dozens of sleepless nights, diapers, LAUNDRY (7 lbs of baby produces 7 tons of dirty laundry), Heavenly Father left the picture.  And what was I left with?  Diapers, laundry, and sleepless nights that held absolutely NO PURPOSE. 

There was only one solution to this entire mess.  Put HEAVEN back in the picture and realize that if Family was ANYTHING, it is a WORK OF FAITH.  We believe that:  All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.

I had gotten so caught up in my daily temporal hardships that my "spiritual fireplace mantel" now contained a picture of a sink overflowing with dishes, and not one of DIVINE DESTINY... Fast forward 8 years.....3 weeks ago I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting and I had a distinct impression.  I have no idea what the speaker was saying, but I heard (felt) "You will preach the Gospel throughout the world."  WHAT?  I thought? The impression continued.  I saw my boys in suits and name tags, and Ally holding a child. 

Whether you think the divine destiny of your child holds missions, it matters very little.  Every parent knows that packaged within that little baby is something that COULD BE GREAT.  However, the process of unwrapping it is SLOW, TIME CONSUMING, AND DOWN-RIGHT HARD.  But my advice to you dear facebook stranger is HOLD ON.  You can help unwrap the BEST package if you will just HOLD ON.  The work of family is a work of FAITH.

I truly believe that mothers are the most powerful people on earth (every time I say that I feel like donning a cape and embroidering the letter M on my shirt).  When heaven is on our side we mold people.  People that shape future families, communities, the world.   I have finally come to realize that what others may see as meaningless and mundane holds worlds without end of importance.  I will leave you with my new favorite quote and hope the airwaves are kind to us and that this post finds you.....holding on!

“Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”

Women's Conference

So I had to speak at Women's Conference this morning and it was really fun.  The Stake Relief Society Preisdncy did a fabulous job!  My topic was having a KIND heart.  (I know, I needed it, especially after a 0 and 3 basketball season....for another time).  Anyway, I thought I would perserve the talk.  I kind of get attached.  When you study for a month it becomes personal.  So here it goes:

The theme of this conference is "having a heart like his." For several weeks this question RAN through my mind - WHAT  SCRIPTURE OF PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURES CLEARLY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT KIND OF HEART THE SAVIOR HAD?  Of course there are many but this one came to the forefront.

If you will, I would like to turn your memory to 3rd Nephi.  The Savior has been crucified and the entire earth has suffered.  The people on the American continent have just seen destruction and death like they never could have imagined.  Then it happens….In Chapter 10 The Savior appears and teaches the righteous that have been spared.

For 7 chapters He ministers to them.  He gives them hope through covenants he has made with their fathers, the Atonement and the plan of Salvation.  He lays out a path for their return to live with Heavenly Father again.   He calls the 12 so that when He leaves they will be watched over.  As if this already did not show the kind of love that the Savior has for God's Children, in chapter 17 it gets personal. 

He announces my TIME IS UP.  He needs to go back to the Father as the footnote states.  But because of the love that He felt for these people, He couldn't leave just yet.  It states:

 3 Nephi 17:5-7

5.  And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude ,and beheld they were in tears, and did look steadfastly upon him as if they would ask him to tarry a little longer with them.

6.  And he said unto them:  Behold, my bowels are filled with COMPASSION towards you.

7.  Have ye any that are sick among you?  Bring them hither.  Have ye any that are lame, or blind, or halt, or maimed, or leprous, or that are withered, or that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner?  Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have COMPASSION upon you; my bowels are filled with mercy.

 Because The Savior loved these people, he used His EYES to  LOOK  for ways to help and then He used his HANDS to  BLESS them. 

When it comes down to it, I think we would like to do the exact same thing, but sometimes we have SPIRITUAL CATARACTS on our eyes and BOXING GLOVES on our hands.

Let me illustrate with a couple of stories:

1.  Several Years ago in a World Wide Leadership Meeting to Patriarchs, President Hinckley recounted the following story:

I remember some years ago interviewing a patriarch in California. He was a railroad switchman, working with men who certainly were not known for their spirituality. He was a large man physically; I remember I was impressed with his size. He told me this experience.

He said, “I was having difficulty getting the spirit of my work as a patriarch. I struggled for it. I prayed for it. One day when I was working in the railroad yard, the noon whistle blew. I got my lunchbox and went over and sat on a pile of railroad ties to eat. I looked at my lunch. It included two big sandwiches, fruit dessert and drinks. As id did so, something seemed to say to me ‘you are a glutton. How can you expect the Spirit of the Lord to bless you?’

           

He said, “I was a glutton. I enjoyed eating more than anything else. I overate. I came to realize that I must change my ways that I could get by with eating less . 

This Man's passion for food was blurring His Vision to the point that he did not want to "look for ways to bless,".  Is there anything in our lives that has become  such a passion  that it is all we think about, look for, or concentrate on,  GIVING US SPIRITUAL CATARACTS so that we cannot see the needs of the people that surround us?

Story #2

My dad grew up in a small mining community in Northern Idaho.  It was called Burke Canyon.  The people that lived in Burke were a tight knit group.  They had an elementary school, but once they reached the 7th grade they were required to go to the big town of Wallace for school. 

My dad was always rather large for his age and had a protruding and sometimes terrifying Jaw.  His older brother, was always littler than he was.

Well, when my dad became old enough and started attending school in Wallace, it became quickly apparent that the big city kids liked to pick fights with the lowly Burke Canyon kids….and his brother Morgan was an easy target. 

Out of necessity, my dad learned to box and for several years protected the Burke Canyon kids.  Until the day he died he  had a fierce reputation with his classmates.  However, what was born of necessity soon became a passion.  HE WAS GOOD.  He had quick hands, superior strength, and a brilliant mind.  As his boxing skills developed so did his temper, he would fight at the drop of a hat, and always win.  He began entering competitions.  This carried through as he graduated from High school and enlisted in the Navy. 

One particular  day, after winning a boxing match, it dawned on him.  He loved to FIGHT.  He loved Hurting people.  And he realized that he had no other way of solving problems.  When something was wrong, the only way to fix it was to fight. 

His passion for fighting had tied his HANDS. What began as a compassionate act to protect became a passion that left very little room in his heart to love other people. 

Have we  ever limited our opportunities to help someone because of harsh words that quickly escaped our mouth, or quick judgments that blurred our vision? 

Now lest you think the story ends there, my dad's boxing career ended that day.  His heart softened, and shortly after, he joined the church.  And to further tutor him in COMPASSION, the  Lord sent him 6 daughters and NO SONS.  Boxing was never to be thought of again. 

  

Now the 3rd and final story:

When Spencer W. Kimball was the Prophet, a woman named Susan lived in his ward.  Susan was a wonderful seamstress.  One Sunday, Susan noticed that President Kimball  had a new suit. Her father had recently returned from a trip to New York and had brought her some exquisite silk fabric. Susan thought that fabric would make a handsome tie to go with President Kimball’s new suit. So on Monday she made the tie. She wrapped it in tissue paper and walked up the block to President Kimball’s home.

On her way to the front door, she suddenly stopped and thought, “Who am I to make a tie for the prophet? He probably has plenty of them.” Deciding she had made a mistake, she turned to leave.

Just then Sister Kimball opened the front door and said, “Oh, Susan!”

Stumbling all over herself, Susan said, “I saw President Kimball in his new suit on Sunday. Dad just brought me some silk from New York . . . and so I made him a tie.”

Before Susan could continue, Sister Kimball stopped her, took hold of her shoulders, and said: “Susan, never suppress a generous thought.”

Does our  PASSION  to not look foolish ever prevent us  from being kind?

 I have told 3 simple stories that illustrate the same principle.  And although food, anger, or pride may not be the things you and I struggle with, the principle is still the same.  We all have things that blurr our vision and tie our hands on a daily basis.  They are called PASSIONS.  When passions go unchecked, they squeeze out any room in our hearts to love and serve. 

So what do we do when we have a very human heart, that wants to be as kind and loving as the Savior's?

When talking to his son Shiblon, Alma gave him this timeless advice:  See that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love; Alma 38:12 

This is a 2 party scripture.  The first party is us.  Bridling our passions requires some sort of action on our part. 

The second party is the Savior.  When we have acted, HE fills our heart with love. 

In short, we DON'T CHANGE OUR OWN HEART, WE ACT IN FAITH, AND THE SAVIOR CHANGES IT FOR US. 

For example:

Shortly after graduating from High School, I engaged in a conflict with one of my sisters that lasted for quite a while.  Each time the two of us were in the same room, I could do little to prevent myself from saying something that ignited a firestorm.  One day my dad and I were traveling to the airport and he began to question my motives for being so angry.  I explained the entire scenario to him, and after hearing the whole thing, I think he thought I had a case.  HOWEVER, he then gave me some great advice. 

"Kathryn, I know you are mad, but it isn't doing anything good for you.  "If you will stop saying it, you will stop feeling it." (Picture just like the scripture picture, me and then the Savior.)

I had to act, and THEN the Lord would change my heart.

You may remember this story from the April 2010 General Conference retold by Birshop Keith B. McMullin:

In Holland during World War II, the Casper ten Boom family used their home as a hiding place for those hunted by the Nazis. Four members of the family lost their lives for providing this refuge. Corrie ten Boom and her sister Betsie spent horrific months in the infamous Ravensbrück concentration camp. Betsie died there—Corrie survived.

In Ravensbrück, Corrie and Betsie learned that God helps us to forgive. Following the war, Corrie was determined to share this message. On one occasion, she had just spoken to a group of people in Germany.  Her message was “God forgives.”

A man approached her. She recognized him as one of the cruelest guards in the camp. “You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk,” he said. “I was a guard there. … But since that time, … I have become a Christian.” He extended his hand and asked, “Will you forgive me?”

“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

“… ‘Help me!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’

“… Woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. As I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart.’

“I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then.” 

If we would like the Savior to change our hearts, it is going require some action on our part.  And luckily for us, the Savior is mindful of even the smallest action. 

To close your mouth when you would really like to say something!

To open your mouth, when you would really NOT like to say something. 

To turn off the computer.

To walk away from the chocolate  aisle when we would really like to drown our sorrows in a 2 lb bag of M&M's. 

The list at this point should become personal. 

As the Lord is aware of our downfalls, He is also very aware of our successes.  And gratefully, He always keeps His promise.  If we ACT, bridle our passions, even in the smallest measure, he will "supply the feeling." 

If you made it to the end congratulations!  The power point that went with it was impressive too :)  Just because it showed  pictures of my dad!  Life is good!