33 Random and Not So Random Reasons!

Jared turns 33 TODAY!  Happy Birthday Jared!  Everyone celebrate with me!  Jared is 33 and still has hair, which is not really the Bolton family trend (sorry Trent)!  Today I thought I would let all of you know (he already does know) why I love him!  I will give you 33 Random and not so Random Reasons.  Here Goes....

1.  Jared doesn't have to be entertained.  He is perfectly content with board games and Netflix :)
2.  In 10 years of marriage, his only complaint about my cooking was, and I quote, "Maricle Whip shouldn't be baked."
3.  He finds a way to fix EVERYTHING that is broken in our home.
4.  He would rather be at home than anywhere else.
5.  He is always asking what we can do to help my mom.
6.  He is VERY COORDINATED.  Thus giving my children a slight glimmer of hope in overcoming their mother's genes.
7.  He likes BLACK FRIDAY as much, or more, than I do.
8.  He never acts like a KNOW-IT-ALL, especially when it comes to the scriptures or teaching, even though he is a Seminary Teacher.
9.  He never cared that I would call and ask my dad scriptural questions before I asked him. 
10.  He asks for my opinion when he is making important work or calling decisions.
11.  He always UNBUTTONS his shirts before he puts them in the laundry.
12.  He facilitates my love for going on good long walks.
13. If I send him to the store for my favorite treat, he always brings back Double Dipped Peanuts or Peanut M&M's.
14.  He thinks the Cosby Show is cool.
15.  He loves to Watch everything "Jane Austen" with me.
16.  When he looks at me, I know what he is thinking.
17.  He gets up at 4 a.m. to read his scriptures everyday :)
18.  If the Prophet says it, it is as good as done!
19.  He has never felt threatened by the fact that I talk to my mom 1to 2 to 3 times a day!
20.  He likes my hair short!
21.  He likes to make SALSA, and he is good at it.
22.  He is brilliant at growing a summer garden.
23.  When someone gets mad at him at work, he wont tell me who it is because he doesn't want me to feel differently about people.
24.  He worries about people's feelings.
25.  He loves his job, and he likes to grow roots (emotionally speaking).
26.  He is a worker.
27.  He makes sure that FHE, Family prayer, family scriptures ALWAYS happen!  Tired or not!
28.  He likes the fact that I am a bit (or more than a bit) blunt!
29.  At age 33 he likes to snowmobile as much as I did at age 8.
30.  He is perfectly content when I want to snowmobile, or sit inside and drink hot chocolate!
31.  When I say Bear Lake, he says YES!
32.  He likes to talk!  And doesn't mind when I talk too much!
33.  He has no hobbies at the moment,  he is too busy with the kids, and he is OKAY with that!

For these reasons and many many more, I will love Jared even more next May 19th than I do this May 19th, even if he is one year older and bald too :)

Trail of Despair

Last night I got home a bit late from a meeting (when I say late, I really mean to say 8:45 p.m.).  Anyhow, the entire household was already asleep and I was not ready for that......so I fired up the computer and started to check out the usual Sunday night Blogs to catch up on everyone's lives. 
I opened my sister's and sitting at the top was a piture of my dad and mom.  I immediately felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me.  For a brief second it hit me that it has been a REALLY long time since I have seen my dad or called and heard his voice on the other end.  OHHH,  I ached!  Then I pursed my lips, swallowed hard, and squinted.  This is what I do when I want to prevent the flow of tears and the journey down the TRAIL of DESPAIR. 
It starts like this.  No, he will not be sitting in his green lawn chair with his straw hat on when I pull up to Bear Lake this summer, No he will not call on my birthday, say "Happy Birthday Kathern," shortly followed by "Birthdays are just another day."  No he will not offer just the right piece of advice the next time I call and explain all my problems to him.  No NO NO!  The trail could last forever, but it doesn't.  Faith eventually wins out.  Jared eventually says, "Kathryn, your dad was so GOOD.  You could never have asked for more."  I eventually hear myself saying, "Things could be worse."  That was the case last night and then a memory flashed into my mind. 
I was home for a brief visit.  The phone rings.  My dad answers and this is what I hear.  "Now hold On!  Okay Calm down, Calm Down!  JUST CALM DOWN!  (brief pause)  Now listen, if he is going to have a disease, it is really a pretty good one to have." 
That last comment has to leave a person wondering.  On the other end of the line was one of his former students.  She was calling for advice.  Her husband had just been diagnosed with kidney failure.  The exact disease that my dad would suffer with for 30 years, 3 transplants, surgery after surgery, sickness after sickness......but "if he is going to have a disease, it is really a pretty good one to have." 
I went to bed last night saying to myself, "If I am going to have a trial, the death of THE BEST DAD, with sealing ties, knowledge of eternal life, a grand plan always in view.....this trial is a pretty good one to have. 

"You cannot kill time without hurting Eternity"

This week when we had the Laurels and Priests over for dinner, we started by having everyone share their best spiritual advice for the Seniors.  I was the first to go, "Find a way to be happy at whatever stage of life you are in.  Never catch yourself saying, 'I will be happy when I am married, after my mission, when I get rid of this psycho roommate....' Find a way to be happy now."  I thought it was great advice, I mean, doesn't it sound profound?  Then as the week followed I thought, if that is such great advice, why in the world haven't I taken it to heart yet?

I will admit, that I am not in an "easy" time of life, as my sister JoDee says, "young motherhood is not for the faint of heart."  And sometimes when the daily all-consuming tasks seem a bit overwhelming, I find myself saying, "Oh if I can just GET THROUGH these next couple of years, life will be good."  But the thing is, I don't want to just GET THROUGH anything. 

I want to be my neighbor, Jeanie May who says to me, "Oh aren't little babies the best!  I loved raising babies.  Then all of a sudden, you have teenagers, and they are the best too!"  Today the High Council man gave a FABULOUS talk, written just for me.  It is funny how that happens when I have never even met the man.  He quoted an article called, "As For Years" by John S. Tanner.   I will give you a snippet of the essay and leave you wanting more.   

“As for years”—I take this to be a D&C carpe diem. It invites us to seize the day, but with an eye toward the future. We are not merely to mark time in this life but, as the hymn suggests, to improve every shining moment, knowing that eternity is composed of such fleeting moments. To paraphrase Thoreau: You can’t kill time without injuring eternity. 

The whole thing seemed vaguely familiar.  Something like a C.S. Lewis Screwtape letter that talks about time.  "Focus their time on the future or the past, but never on this MOMENT or on ETERNITY, because it is in this moment that they make their plans for eternity."  (By the way, that is not a direct quote, I make up quotes in my mind and sometimes get them confused with the real author, but you get the point.)

I think that Jeanie May had it right.  Babies are the most fun!  Teenagers are too!  Whatever stage you are at, that is where it is at.  The fun is at your house, with your kids.  Not at the neighbors house, or in 10 years from now.  Seize the day, just because it is hard doesn't mean it isn't fun. 

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Ugghh! Kids These Days!

Wednesday night as my head FINALLY hit the pillow, I said to Jared, "I know why parenting is so hard...because my kids demonstrate every poor quality that I already have."  The ensuing conversation reminded me of one that I had with my dad when I was a teenager. 

I said, "Dad, I hate it when old people say, 'Ughh!  Kids These Days."  He said, "There is a simple response to give to those old people, it goes like this....'You raised those kids!'" 

When the world would suggest that God is now sending down the most 'delinquent, lazy, or disrespectful' kids, I must DISAGREE, WHOLEHEARTEDLY!  Elder Maxwell once told Elder Bednar that this generation had the "greatest capacity to be obedient", more than any other generation.....and I know many that have risen to the occasion! 

My mom and dad have always been BRILLIANT at seeing the youth for who they were, loving them, and firmly guiding them.  It became quite evident during high school that my friends were not coming to my house to visit me, they came because they loved to talk to Mr. Foster and the constant barrage of brownies, cookies, and Rice Krispie treats from Mrs. Foster didn't hurt either.  They were both great at making every kid feel like the conversation was about them, because....it was. 

Elder Rasband once gave a talk in Preisthood meeting about helping the youth.  He said, "We as members of the Church, leaders of youth, anxious fathers, and concerned grandfathers—all need to respond to the call for “all hands on deck” as it pertains to our youth and young single adults. We must all look for opportunities to bless the youth whether or not we are currently closely associated with them. " 

Today I would like to give a shout out to all of the people that manned my deck.  Bob and Marcy, Uncle Gary and Aunt Bonnie, Kim Reynolds, Thelma, Ms. Howe, Coach Leck, Richard Reynolds.........

As I have grown up, I have realized that it is a fun job, manning the deck.   You get back a lot more than you put into it.  Last night, we had the Priests and Laurels over for a "good-bye seniors" activity.  After all of the advice was given, and the treats were eaten, we played a competitive round of the "clap-clap" game.  I knew it was going to be an interesting game when Brother Paul Leavitt (you have to specify which Leavitt when you live in Overton), was given the category of flowers and he quickly said, "WHEAT!"  At the end of 20 minutes, Steven was declared the winner and Natalie the Runner-up.  The results could have easily been reversed, however, I believe that Natalie cursed herself when the category was "things found in the kitchen" and her immediate response was, "WOMEN."  And then in a twisted turn of events, she blamed her answer on Steven saying, "I never would have said that if I didn't know you!"  I am still trying to figure it out, but it was FUNNY!

I guess the point that I am getting at is that the youth are GOOD and FUN and BRIGHT and I am JEALOUS.  I wish I could go back and take advantage of every minute I had at that age to get better at being good.  That way, this age would be a little easier.  Because now it is painfully obvious to me that on the days that I feel like saying, "UGHH, these kids (my kids)" .....those are the days that I'm not doing so hot either :) 

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Rules The World

My mother always was and is a WIFE and MOTHER before anything else.  There was never a calling big enough, a social event important enough, or a hobby fun enough that took precedence over her feelings of family.  When my dad got sick, she went to work - and HATED every minute of it.  She did what was required of her (true parenthood in itself), but her thoughts were ALWAYS at home.  Nothing makes her happier than a child's success or the goodness of a grandchild. 

Because of her careful concern, the lessons she taught my sisters and I have been woven into every word we say, lesson we teach, look we give, and advice we share.  She will mould generations.  In a day when motherhood seems secondary to any other opportunity, I CHOOSE MOTHERHOOD.....because my mom chose motherhood.  The hand that rocked MY cradle, for many sleepless nights, has literally created the world I live in.  And for that, I could not have ever chosen a better mother.

In college, I was assigned to write and illustrate a children's book.  Although it is not professional in many ways, I would like to share it with you. 

 

If You'll Stop Saying It, You'll Stop Feeling It

Yesterday, I taught a great lesson in Sunday School.  (I don't mean that I TAUGHT a great lesson, I mean the lesson to teach was a great one).  It covered John 9-10.  You see, Jesus heals a man that has been blind since birth.  As the story unfolds, you see the Jew's reaction, the blind man's reaction, and the blind man's parent's reaction. 
The Jew's begin to ask the blind man WHO it was that healed him.  The blind man responds several times, but his responses vary in content and emotion.  He goes from saying, "Some guy healed me (not the exact words) to A Prophet healed me, to THE MAN SENT FROM GOD healed me (this one he said at the risk of being thrown out of the synagogue, but he still said it.)
The Jews go from, this is impossible, to the devil did it, to YOU ARE A SINNER AND HE IS A SINNER AND GET OUT OF THE SYNAGOGUE! 
The parent's of the blind man just "threw him under the bus" (as Natalie would say).  They were afraid of any repercussions at the hands of truth! 
It was funny to see how the things that each person said were planted in their hearts and GREW into a Testimony or a Fit of Rage.
So I was teaching this, and I had a flashback....My dad and I were sitting in the green Le Sabre (never my favorite car) driving somewhere, I am not sure where.  At the time, I was in a on-going conflict with one of my sisters.  (I am sure that is hard to believe for all of you - No comments please).  My dad began to question my motives for being so angry.  I think after hearing the whole scenario, he thought I had a case....HOWEVER, he then gave me some GREAT advice.  Kathryn, I know you are mad, but it isn't doing anything good for you.  "If you will stop SAYING it, you will stop FEELING it."  I really didn't get it at the time, but I think I am starting to get it now.
It is funny how little comments that my mom and dad have made have shaped my life, and come out of the recesses of my mind at just the right time.